苦玫瑰
1936年12月11日张若水
“将军，共党已经到来了。”太阳的光狠狠将乌云撞破，一直撞到大地之上，撞到人们的心头。
“周师长，你终于来啦！我也知道国难当头我们最需要的是合作，所以，今天我是不会令你失望的！”当周师长坐下时，我赶忙微笑着给他倒下茶～我知道当我站在历史的天平下时，我必须做出抉择……
1928年4月5日张若水
“嗯，原来你也在这儿呐！”当我点燃这支鸦片烟，我周围的人被这突然升起的一层又一层的雾湮末～不一会一朵又一朵玫瑰花轻轻在这轻薄儿，可爱的云雾之间绽开来～“哗”，忽而有一阵风袭来，那一朵又一朵玫瑰花儿被风吹开，一股又一股浓重的花香散在空气中轻轻撩拨着我的心～恍惚中，我又看见了她……
Wait a minute baby
Stay with me awhile
Said you'd give me light
But you never told be about the fire
Drowning in the sea of love
Where everyone would love to drown
And now it's gone
It doesn't matter anymore
When you build your house
Call me home
And he was just like a great dark wing
Within the wings of a storm
I think I had met my match -- he was singing
And undoing the laces
Undoing the laces
Drowning in the sea of love
（Sara (Edit Version) - Fleetwood Mac）
1928年4月6日张若水
“快给我追，快追～那孙子是抢劫犯！”一刹那，空气不知是被谁凝聚了～刚从烟馆里出来的精神麻木涣散的人，他们呆在那儿，仰着头望着灰灰的压在他们头顶的乌云；知道自己被逼嫁后的男孩，他呆在那儿心事重重地看着从烟馆出来的那一群又一群的人～而我此刻在这静止的画面当中奔跑，我奔跑着，我跑着却怎么也逃不出去……
Here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And a flesh machine
He's gonna do another strip tease
Hey man where'd you get that lotion
I've been hurting since I bought the gimmick
About something called love
Yeah something called love
Well that's like hypnotising chickens
Well I'm just a modern guy
Of course I've had it in the ear before
'Cause of a lust for life
'Cause of a lust for life
I'm worth a million in prizes
With my torture film
Drive a G T O
（Lust For Life (Live) - Iggy Pop）
1929年5月1日张若水
“嘿，那个姓张的～你又来抽鸦片呀！”在角落里躺着的，是这家烟馆老板的儿子江一～我大笑着走了过去～
“我们做个结拜兄弟吧，我可以帮你介绍更多的人来这儿！”他有些不屑地撇了我一眼。
“那我得看你的能耐！”他抽了一口鸦片，一层又一层的云雾从他嘴里涌出来，他躺在那里没了知觉……
1929年5月2日张若水
“妈的，那混蛋又来抢了！”一群不良商贩追着我～我看着不断从我身旁往后移的～卖水果的，擦鞋的，发报纸的～阳光落在他们身上，阳光落在他们身上聚在一起后裹着着他们往后奔，奔向那黑暗的地方……
I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And you can't help me not, you guys
And all you sweet girls with all your sweet silly talk
You can all go take a walk
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
In a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town
And of himself, and those around
（Heroin The Velvet Underground）
卖水果的，擦鞋的，卖报纸的～他们和我一样都是底层愚昧的人……
1930年1月1日张若水
我不用再去抢了，我安心的点燃这支鸦片烟～这一次她的面庞缓缓移来，她吻着我～她的口中含着玫瑰花的味道，她含着玫瑰花吻着我～
Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby you just make me mad
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eye
那薄薄的灯光轻轻衬着她的脸庞，她吻着我，此刻我的心像一汪灵静的水；她吻着我，此刻就连空气也静止了～我悄悄用手碰落一颗尘，那颗尘掉在角落里开出一朵花……
1930年1月8日张若水
我点燃这支鸦片烟～这一次她解开衣带，空气中漂着忽浅忽深的玫瑰花的味道～她温柔地注视着我，我亦与她四目相对～
Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby you just make me mad
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
那玫瑰花之味像水一样轻轻渗进我的皮肤，我轻轻抱起她，她轻轻吻着我～月光悄悄透过窗帘，透过她，透过我的心……
1934年6月7日张若水
这是张爱玲的《茉莉香片》，她轻轻翻开书页，书页散出花的清香～
Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby you just make me mad
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
我悄悄把我的手停在她的手旁～
“聂传庆还是将严朱丹推下了悬崖～”
“严朱丹又回来了，等待聂传庆的将是……”她轻轻合上书页叹了口气，我把我的手移向她的手，她温柔地看着我～阳光轻盈地跃在我们周围……
1935年某天张若水
“各位爷，今天是戴中将的生日～那我就请各位爷来我们烟馆逍遥一回！（烟馆已寄在下人名下，交给下人打理）”江一的父亲是青帮的～而我通过江一之父又认识了一些国民党的达官贵人！我知道的国民党内部一些人极度的虚荣与腐败，我还知道这些人是最好贿赂的～短短几年我就在国民党内部获得了很好的职位与声望～
我点燃这支鸦片烟～这一次天空下着些儿淅淅沥沥的小雨，街灯被几些薄薄的雾轻轻蒙住～
Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby you just make me mad
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
我撑开伞，她轻轻贴着我的臂肩～
“看了阮玲玉的《再会吧，上海》好感慨。”她的脸庞拂过些许感伤，我拨了拨她的刘海……
1936年1月1日张若水
Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby you just make me mad
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
“张也！张也！来人啊！快来救救我的爱人啊！” Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby you just make me mad
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eyes～雨从天空像钉子一样打了下来，她抱着爱人的头失声痛哭～我知道她是不会喜欢我的，这样的失望我也曾有过～记得那天她从还是擦鞋匠的我的身旁经过，她微微一笑，阳光和煦而我的心也是甜的……
Sometimes I feel so happy
Sometimes I feel so sad
Sometimes I feel so happy
But mostly you just make me mad
Baby you just make me mad
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
