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Real Men Love Their Wives as Christ Loves His Church

Leon J. Suprenant

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church” (Eph. 5:25). The problem is most of us can’t just flip a switch and love our wives “as Christ loved the Church,” even if—especially if—we understand the true meaning and depth of Paul’s words. Nonetheless, we realize that the apostle to the Gentiles is trying to give us a blueprint for success as husbands and fathers.

The key for us as Christian men is to realize that implementing Paul’s instruction requires training and hard work. We need to build virtues, which not only are godly habits, but spiritual muscles that will help us attain “the full stature of Christ” (Eph. 4:13).

We all know that the world gives us a different blueprint for success. The secular model of a successful man is a rich, powerful womanizer. As an alternative, I offer three virtues, which also are fruits of the Holy Spirit, to help us dismantle this model and rebuild our image of manhood on more solid ground.

One virtue is chastity. What does this virtue teach us about the gift of our male sexuality? Another crucial virtue for men is meekness. What does this virtue teach us about manly strength? And the third virtue is generosity. What does this virtue say about our attitude toward possessions and wealth, as well as our priorities in life? What we learn is that by cultivating chastity, meekness, and generosity in our role as husbands and fathers we can better imitate Christ’s self-giving love for his Body, the Church.

Chastity pertains to everybody. Many men focus on sex as the “bottom line,” and so once they’re married, sex is “legal” and chastity is no longer needed. This is an erroneous and immature way of looking at it. Loving our wives as Christ loves his Church is much deeper and richer than that.

All Christians are called to chastity throughout their lives. Some embrace virginity or consecrated celibacy, which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a beautiful, singular manner. The rest of us are called to live chastely whether we are married or single.

Chastity is a virtue or spiritual muscle, just like prudence, justice, faithfulness, sobriety, courage, and a host of other virtues that are meant for every generation...

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