大师游戏II 151～控制自我

今天是大师游戏第151天星期六，开始读《Dark NLP》，感觉自己对关于如何理解人的书籍特别感兴趣。

What you will probably find is that exerting influence over yourself is actually more difficult than exerting influence over others. This is due to the fact that a range of complications come into play in relation to ourselves, such as our own egocentric view of who we are and our inherent resistance to change.

影响自己比影响别人更难，主要是因为我们经常以自我为中心而且本能地抗拒改变。想到一句话，我们最大的敌人其实是自己。

All of the major traditions state it is important to gain an insight into the reasons why we behave the way we do and to learn to control our impulses. It is stated that it is this potential for self-control which makes us human and separates us from the animals.

要进行自我控制的前提是我们要学会理解自己的行为，洞察我们行为背后的原因，这是我们和动物的本质区别。

Our ability to exert control over others is entirely reliant upon our ability to know our own strengths, weaknesses and motivations and how to use these to get what we want out of life. Any attempt to skip past self-mastery will only result in frustration and ineffective outcomes further down the line.

我们在影响他人之前，先要做好自我影响，一个连自己都不能影响的人是很难影响别人的。

Most people have only situational confidence, meaning they are able to feel effective provided the environment they are in is familiar. It is far better, however, to feel a deep sense of core confidence that transcends any circumstantial factor.

哇！如何在所有场景下都感受到来自内心的自信？赶紧告诉我！

The absolute key to self-mastery from an NLP perspective is always knowing what you want in any given situation.

自我掌控的绝对关键是你要知道你到底想要什么？难怪教练经常会问：“你想要什么？”

It is important that you make your intended outcome, your target, as clear and specific as possible. Many people make the mistake of being too vague and setting their goals as something which cannot be measured or assessed.

然后要进一步把想要转换成具体、清晰可衡量的结果，这就是教练中的合约思维啊。

One of the best ways to fix an outcome firmly in mind and make sure it stays as motivational and useful as possible is to envision it in a way which draws upon all of the five senses.

有了具体可衡量的结果之后，就要把这个结果可视化，把这个结果变成一个画面，深深地印在心里。我想到自己每天要喝八杯水的目标，怎么能把这个结果变成画面呢？

我想到喝水之前的自己就像干干的沙漠，当我喝完水后，我就会变成绿洲，内心滋润而平静，就会变成心水，哈哈哈。

Without knowing your deepest drives, the very things that motivate you to take massive action in this life, you will be unable to effectively reach your outcome.

有了结果的画面还不够，你还要知道让你持续行动的深层动力。

To start with, you should begin to write down anything that comes into your mind when you think of what motivates you. You shouldn’t judge or question yourself and just write down anything that you think of. When you can’t think of anything new, stop writing.

那如何才能发现你深层的动力呢？可以从任何你可以想到的动机开始。不要评价，一直写就行，直到你想不出来了。

After you have your final list, you should rank the factors in front of you from most to least. Which invokes the greatest feeling of motivation in you when you read it? Which is the second most? Proceed in this way until you have ranked all of the factors. You will now have a clear ranking of your drives in front of you. Write down the top three drives separately, from highest to third highest.

按照感觉的强烈程度给你写下来的动机排序，找到让你最有感觉的三个动机。

You should now begin the process of linking your top three drives into your chosen outcome. Say for example, you have chosen to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain date. Let’s also say that your top three drives happen to be **happiness, freedom and health. **You can begin to view your goal in terms of how it relates to these drives.

有了这三个最强动机以后，你要做的就是在你想要的结果和这三个动机之间建立连接，去感受你的结果是如何关联这三个动机的。

but to increase your chances of self-mastery even further you should establish your values and similarly link them to your intended outcome.Just think of the things in life which matter the most to you.

给结果挂上动机还不够，我们还要给结果挂上价值，价值就是那些在你生命中最重要的事情？

总结一下，具体清晰的结果、深层强烈的动机和内心看重的价值是控制自我的三大支柱。