2019年4月写作反馈直播（二）

自现象级英语

Peer learning: double-check what you have written and think twice about what you have read

Example 1

To improve: a mother tongue, the Philippines is, great educational +n, a complete system

Highlights: all around the world(all over the world), a massive influx of learners

Revised version

Special terms

the Netherlands, Holland, Nederland

强调：复数国名由不同的省份或不同的州组成

Example 2

To improve: prowess is redundant.  More of its cities前面没有铺垫，直接用more不合适

Highlights: expertise in sth. , evolve a scheme for sth. 

Revised version

分号\前后三个句子应该结构对称

Example 3
Revised version

时态：过去完成时变为现在完成时

Highlights: convert wealth into well-being

更正：healthcare 改为 health care

Example 4
Revised version
Example 5

Highlights: flourishing industy

Example 6
Revised version
Example 7

To improve： He made sth do sth 应该避免这种中式说法。programming 改为programs/ shows

Revised version

Highlights: Thanks to him, emulate

Example 8

Highlights: disruptive innovations （多项创新）; incubate creative ideas; accommodate mistakes and failures

作为概念和领域，innovation不可数；作为一项技术则为可数名词

Silicon Valley is home to/ boasts/ has produced /gave birth to

Exmaple 9

Capability cannot be given. It can only be gained by oneself.

Revised version

Hypernyms(上义词)：restaurants and industries

Example 10

trademark需要改一下

Example 11
Revised version
Sentence 1
Sentence 2

虚伪rivalry，PK对象应该是英音和美音，不是英美两国，另外两种发音不构成rivalry

humourous Sentence 4

虚伪命题

Sentence 5

Goliath: 一般有assumed context 有一强一弱两者同时出现，用giants, superpowers, titans更好

Sentence 6

To imporve: trade ports,  finance

Sentence 7
Revised by Justin

更正多了一个its

Sentence 8

Highlights: be filled with

Personal Review

Great writers are much admired all around the world for their knowledge and skills. Voltaire, whose name has become the icnoic trademark of the French language, evolved an excellent system for converting his wit into a weapon against social ills, setting an example for us to follow. The system has worked so well, that it has been adopted by quite a few writers too.

The moral of his story is to write with a sense of purpose. Instead of filling the framework with beautiful yet empty words, a good article should be clear-minded and value-oriented. We prize attitude over expertise.