每周500字若水文心IELTS365雅思写作工作室《写写写》

IELTS writing task 2 010–The gov

2018-08-07  本文已影响4人  若水Dewlight
IELTS writing task 2 010–The government should save the minority languages from dying out(Revised...

因本文也没有找到范文,所以范文比对就暂时省略,一稿的修改稿继续进行。以下就是我的初稿修改稿:

1、开头段

We have thousands of languages in the world according to linguists, but many of the minority languages are gradually diasappering from our world. What should we do? Should the government take measures to prevent this thing from happening? There are opposing views towards this issue. In the following passage, I’d like to examine both sides and  present my own position in the end. (这一段我开门见山,直入主题,之后对题目进行了转述,最后引出下面的主体段落。因本段撰写比较老练,语言工整准确,所以修改时间时完全保持原文,一字未动。)

二、主体#1段

First, those people who advocate(这个词是一个学术词汇,比较高端,建议大家也模仿使用。)the preservation of minority tongues usually argue that language spoken by minority groups of people representing their tradition and culture. Protecting (这里用protecting替换了初稿的“By protecting”) their language from dying out is just a way to conserve their culture and promote the diversity of the world. Second, language is believed not only a way of communication but a way of thinking and perception of the world, therefore protecting a language is equal to the protection of documenting and observing the world. Take for example, the language of Eskimos, a minority group of people living in the Antarctic region has more than a hundred ways to describe the snow flakes which offer tremendous value for snow study. Third, many minor languages possess a great deal of cultural and historical value. For instance, the native language of the local folks of some places like Guangdong Province of China which is officially known as the Cantonese inherites (这里我用inherits替换了inherite,因为后者语法单复数形式不对。)a huge host of features of language spoken by people in the Tang Dynasty of ancient China. If people use spoken Cantonese to recite Tang Dynasty poems, they can usually get a melodious rhyme which sounds very pleasant to the ears. On the other hand, if we recite the poems with  modern spoken Manderin the appealing sound delight is lost completely. (我在这段集中讨论了保护小语种的意义。)

三、主体#2段

While people who oppose the investment of minority languages by the government maintain that minority languages are only spoken by a small crowd of people, so it’s not so valuable to utilize the public resources to save them. Language is just a way of exchanging information and ideas, a Lingua Franca (这里改动了“Linga”一词的拼写)like English or Manderin Chinese are better worth investment to serve the purpose. On top of that, the government more often than not has many other more pressing matters to deal with, like poverty, famine, education, medical care, they simply don’t have enough financial resources to devote to this field.(本段讲反对投资保护小语种的意见。)

四、结尾段

In conclusion, there are both pros and cons concerning (这里加了一个单词“concerning”) preserving minority languages as listed in the above two paragraphs. To my mind, we should protect minority languages because protecting languages spoken by the minority group of people is just the same as preserving the culture, tradition and civilization of the whole human race and an endeavor to benefit descendants (这里查了有道,发现之前的单词“decedents”完全拼错,意思也完全不对。看来在正式考试时自己不太有把握的单词还是回避一下比较保险。但是考完之后或计时练习完成之后再查一下这个单词确认一下会得到一个提高和进步的机会。) of the distant future.

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