20 雅思考官范文详解 04

大家好！2 月 25 日到 3 月 8 日这两周的“每周一段”段落选自《剑桥雅思官方真题集 9》中第三套题的雅思考官范文。    

学习建议：在开始阅读第 2 部分“段落解读”前，先试着自己花 20-30 分钟阅读作文题目、要求，以及文本部分。想一想你会怎样学习这三段考官范文。然后再阅读“段落解读”。    

作文题目/Topic： 

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

作文要求/Task： 

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 建议先快速回顾下范文的前两段：

A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend. One possible solution is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more active lifestyle.    

Advocates of this believe that today's sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either the work or our leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sports centres, we would be more likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interests: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.

一、文本

However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. Interest in sports is not universal, and additional facilities might only attract the already fit, not those who most need them. Physical activity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my local council has done. This has the added benefit that parents and children often use together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.    

As well as physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on hight-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these contributes to poor health. Even improving public transport would help: it takes longer to walk to the bus station than to the car.    

In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more physically active but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle in general.  

二、段落解读

这个题目的要求是“Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.” 这个题目的问法基本决定了文章的结构，即“开头段--讨论 A 观点--讨论 B 观点--给出自己的观点--结尾段”。    

前面两周我们学习了这篇雅思考官范文的的前两段，即开头段和 A 观点。今天我们来学习其中的第三段、第四段和第五段。    

基本解读：  

很明显，第三段和第四段都在讨论 B 观点，第五段给出自己的观点，同时也是文章的结尾段。除了这篇文章外，《剑桥雅思官方真题集 6》中第二套题的雅思考官范文和《剑桥雅思官方真题集 8》中第一套题的雅思考官范文中讨论自己观点的那段也是结尾段。大家可以对比学习。    

第三段共 4 句话。第 1 句是个自然的短句，和上一段对 A 观点的讨论形成转折；第 2 句回应了文章第二段的第 2、3 句，解释了更多健身器械并不会吸引最需要改善健康的人群，而更可能只是为已经健康且有健身意识和习惯的人提供便利；第 3 句通过举例，提出了一种更经济的可行性；第 4 句解释了这种可行性的益处。    

第四段共 2 句话。第 1 句提出了其他方案，即向一些危害健康的产品征收更高的税，回应了题目中“Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required”的“other measures”部分；第 2 句又简单补充了另一个可行方案。    

第五段共 2 句话。第 1 句表明了自己的立场，即健身器械只是改善公共健康非常小的一个方面；第 2 句简洁给出了大致的建议。   

进阶解读：  

1）注意篇幅的合理分配。

从题目“Discuss both these views and give your own opinion”来看，“both these views”和“your own opinion”的比重差不多，但从第五段来看，“your own opinion”只有两句话。不管这篇文章是这样的，《剑桥雅思官方真题集 6》中第二套题的雅思考官范文和《剑桥雅思官方真题集 8》中第一套题的雅思考官范文的结尾段分别用了 1 句和 2 句话。    

因此可以大致得出，在写“Discuss both these views and give your own opinion”这类题目时，可以把重心放在两个观点的讨论上，自己的观点只要简要说明即可。    

从另一个角度来说，相比“give (your own opinion)”，“discuss (both these views)”需要更多的篇幅。   

2）注意积累积极写作词汇。

我们可以从中积累健康、运动、生活方式类话题写作必备表达，比如 physical activity, physically active, excessive consumption of high-fat food products, adopt a healthier lifestyle in general 以及解决问题相关的表达：tackle/address/solve/combat/grapple with a problem,  too narrow an approach。   

 3）写完一个句子后，多问自己 so what 或 then what，可以让句子更丰富。比如第三段第 4 句话的前半部分：    

This has the added benefit that parents and children often use together just for fun.    

根据上下文，作者建议可以在公园里装健身器械，这样的好处是可以方便家长和孩子一起使用。虽然这个意思已经表达完整了，但如果我们问一问自己，家长和孩子一起使用会怎么样，答案可能就是方便从小培养孩子的锻炼习惯，而这才是健康的生活方式更核心的问题，因此就有了第 4 句话的后半部分：which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age. 这样写就可以让写作更丰富、更有说服力。    

4）注意举例论证的简洁性和灵活性。如果想在有限的篇幅内提高论证的质量，又不牺牲举例论证，那么就需要注意语言的紧凑性。比如第三段第 3 句话：    

Physical activity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my local council has done.     

短短一个句子，既说明了观点，又举了一个例子，语言简洁、干练。第四段第 2 句话异曲同工：   

Even improving public transport would help: it takes longer to walk to the bus station than to the car.

举例子的时候，可以试着使用冒号或破折号，视觉上非常清晰。  

  5）注意段落之间的连贯性。结构清晰、语言连贯的议论文写作的一个特点是只读每段的段首句，就可以掌握这篇文章的脉络。这篇文章也是这样的，下面分别是正文三个段落的段首句：    

Advocates of this believe that today's sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either the work or our leisure time.    

However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem.     

As well as physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on hight-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these contributes to poor health.     

“However”表示和上一段转折，“as well as”表示和上一段并列或递进。尤其注意在下面一个板块掌握“as well as”这个精巧的过渡词。  

三、句子学习

句子学习 我们主要通过“临摹”和“背诵”的方式精学一段话。  

临摹句子1：This has the added benefit that parents and children often use together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.    

提炼出句型：This has the added benefit that X, which Y.    

造句示范：    

a) This [Renting a coworking space] has the added benefit that team members can interact with people working in other startups, which makes for a more fun and creative working environment.（相对自己租独立的办公室而言，使用共享空间本身可以省钱，但还有其他好处）    

b) This [Outsourcing part of work] has the added benefit that full-time employees can focus on the core business, which maximizes the value of human resources.（将一部分工作外包不仅可以省钱，还可以让全职员工将精力聚焦到核心业务中）    

临摹句子2：As well as physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on hight-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol.   

提炼出句型：As well as X, Y could be imposed/used/adopted...     

造句示范：    

a) As well as memorizing well-written passages, imitation of selected paragraphs could be adopted to improve English writing skills.（除了背诵，临摹也可以提高写作）    

b) As well as improving public transport, smart/sensible urban planning could be executed to tackle traffic congestion.（解决交通拥堵问题）    

临摹句子3：Focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results.     

提炼出句型：Focusing on X is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results.     

造句示范：    

a) Focusing on passive vocabulary is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results.（仅是关注消极词汇并不会提高英文水平，更不用输出能力）    

b) Focusing on the number of customers is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results.（对一家饭店来说客流重要，但是菜品和服务质量等更重要）    

2）可直接背诵和使用的句子    

However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem.     

四、作业

1）参考第三部分的句型造句，造句时可以用中文写出具体的语境。  

2）用不同的句式和表达 paraphrase 下面的句子（可以写多个句子）：    

This has the added benefit that parents and children often use together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.    

In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results.     

3）【可选】阅读《剑桥雅思官方真题集 6》中第二套题的雅思考官范文和《剑桥雅思官方真题集 8》中第一套题的雅思考官范文中的第三、四段。