我只是对人生过敏
1
I fail to understand the “good” part of “good morning”
我不明白“早上好”到底“好”在哪里
2
I don’t like morning people…
or mornings…
or people
我并不喜欢早起的人……
或早晨……
或人
3
I love food more than I love people
食物比人更得我心
4
Every once in a while
I check up on people I hate
to make sure I still hate them
每隔一段时间
我就会核对一遍我讨厌的人
确认我仍然讨厌他们
5
I am waiting for the day that
scientists discover a cure for
Natural Causes.
我等待着科学家成功治愈
“顺其自然综合征”的
那一天
6
I’m not getting old
I’m just becoming a classic
我不是在变老
只是在成为经典
7
Top 4 wishes：
1）To earn money without working
2) To be smart without studying
3) To love without being hurt
4) To eat without getting fat
4个最想实现的愿望：
1.不劳而获
2.不学有术
3.相爱无伤
4.狂吃不胖
8
Friends who buy you food are friends for life
买吃的给你的朋友才是一辈子的交情
9
Do what you love
and what you’re proud of
and you’re bulletproof
做你爱做
和令你得意的事儿
你将刀枪不入
10
Tell someone they can do anything
and they won’t know what to do
Tell someone what they can’t do
and they’ll know exactly what they want to do
Humans…
对某些人说他们可以做任何事
他们会不知道自己该做什么
而对某些人说他们不能做什么事
他们马上就知道自己想要做什么了
人啊……
11
Whatever you do always give 100%!
Unless you’re donating blood
不管做什么都要100%投入！
除非你在献血……
12
Newton’s 1st law:
A body at rest
wants to stay at rest.
牛顿第一定律：
一个静止的身体
想要保持静止
13
Birthdays are good for your health
Studies have shown
that people who have more birthdays
live longer
过生日有益健康
研究表明
生日过得越多的人
活得越久
14
GEOLOGY
Name the three types of rock:
1.Classic
2. Punk
3. Hard
地理考试
命名三种类型的石头：
1.经典摇滚
2.朋克摇滚
3.硬摇滚
15
Learn a lesson from your dog-
no matter what life brings you
kick some grass over that shit
and move on
向你的狗学习——
不管生活带给你什么
往那坨狗屎上踢点儿草
然后继续撒丫子前进
16
CATS THROUGH THE AGES
时间恒久远
猫咪永流传
17
Of course I am in shape!
Round is a shape
我当然很有型！
圆也是一种形啊！
18
Strength is the ability
to break chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands
and eat just one of those pieces
真的勇士
就是可以徒手将巧克力掰成四瓣
却只吃其中一块
19
Imagine if trees gave off WIFI signals
we’d be planting a lot of them!
And we’d probably save the planet too
Too bad they only produce oxygen we breathe
想象一下如果树能发射WIFI信号
我们肯定会种很多很多的树！
而我们很可能也会拯救地球
真可惜它们只能产生供我们呼吸的氧气
20
Person is typing…Person is typing…
Person is typing…Person is typing…
Person is typing…
Person says: hi
对方正在输入……对方正在输入……
对方正在输入……对方正在输入……
对方正在输入……
对方说：嗨
21
——Are you crying?
——No,I‘m having an allergic reaction.
——To what?
——To life.
——你在哭吗？
——没有，我只是过敏了。
——对什么过敏？
——人生。
