2017.12.16 梵高
今天非常糟糕。我总在寻找救命稻草。但就是找不到。
我需要一些帮助，但是，没有人可以帮我。不，是我身边的人，没办法帮我。父母，同事，爱人，都不能帮我。甚至认为我无病呻吟，或者，不够牛逼。
我没有能力帮你
这就是我最爱的人给我的回复，当我向她求助的时候，当我向她倾诉的时候，得到的就是这么一句打脸的反馈。瞬间，我基本崩塌。
犹如最后一根稻草的断裂，谁也不想见，谁也不想说话。
今天听了一天的Vincent，其实，我但愿永远忧伤是我自己的，而把快乐带给别人。只可惜，我没什么能力。我需要帮助。我需要力量和阳光。
Starry starry night
星与星相望的夜晚
paint your palette blue and grey
在你画板上涂抹蓝和灰的油彩
look out on a summer's day
在某个夏日里向外张望的
with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
不正是那看透我灵魂的你的双眸
Shadows on the hills
在山与山的阴影里
sketch the trees and the daffodils
勾勒出树林与水仙
catch the breeze and the winter chills
捕捉住冬日寒冷和拂面清风
in colors on the snowy linen land
色彩幻化在雪白亚麻画布上
And now I understand
现在我终于明白了
what you tried to say to me
你想对我倾诉什么
and how you suffered for your sanity
你的心智是怎样饱受折磨
and how you tried to set them free
又如何竭力的摆脱这痛苦
They would not listen they did not know how
但是人们不会听 更不会懂
perhaps they'll listen now
也许此时他们想听听
Starry starry night
星与星相望的夜晚
flaming flowers that brightly blaze
花儿在盛开如火焰在燃烧
swirling clouds in violet haze
云朵舒卷着如紫罗兰绽放
reflect in Vincent's eyes of China blue
映在文森特湛蓝色的双眸
Colors changing hue
色彩幻化万千
morning fields of amber grain
清晨麦田里琥珀色的穗
weathered faces lined in pain
和那饱受风霜皱纹的脸
are smoothed beneath the artist's loving hand
被文森特艺术的手爱抚
And now I understand
现在我终于明白了
what you tried to say to me
你想对我倾诉什么
and how you suffered for your sanity
你的心智是怎样饱受折磨
and how you tried to set them free
又如何竭力的摆脱这痛苦
They would not listen they did not know how
但是人们不会听 更不会懂
perhaps they'll listen now
也许此时他们想听听
For they could not love you
尽管人们不曾爱过你
but still your love was true
但是你依然渴望生活
and when no hope was left in sight on that
当爱的希望荡然无存
starry starry night
在星与星对望的一个夜晚
You took your life as lovers often do
你结束了你的生命 如同与天上的星相恋在夜空
But I could have told you Vincent
可是我不得不说啊 伟大的文森特
this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you
你这般美丽本就不属于这红尘世俗
Starry starry night
星与星对望的夜晚
portraits hung in empty halls
你的自画像挂在空荡展厅
frameless heads on nameless walls
无框的自画像 悬在世间虚空的墙上
with eyes that watch the world and can't forget
你渴望生活的双眸 依然无法消逝去
Like the stranger that you've met
如你曾经际遇过的每个陌生人
the ragged men in ragged clothes
那些失魂的看客 挣扎在褴褛衣衫里
the silver thorn of bloddy rose
血色玫瑰上银色荆棘的刺
lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
被摧折粉碎 化作尘埃飘向初雪的大地
And now I think I know
现在我终于明白了
what you tried to say to me
你想对我倾诉什么
and how you suffered for your sanity
你的心智是怎样饱受折磨
and how you tried to set them free
又如何竭力的摆脱这痛苦
They would not listen they're not listening still
人们不会听 他们不懂用心去倾听
perhaps they never will
或许因为 他们惧怕把这一切听见
