Abstraction of Lean In
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
There is far more to life than climbing a career ladder, including raising children, seeking personal fulfillment, contributing to society, and improving the lives of others
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
women are not thinking about ‘having it all,’ they’re worried about losing it all—their jobs, their children’s health, their families’ financial stability—because of the regular conflicts that arise between being a good employee and a responsible parent.”34
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
For many men, the fundamental assumption is that they can have both a successful professional life and a fulfilling personal life. For many women, the assumption is that trying to do both is difficult at best and impossible at worst
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
Fear is at the root of so many of the barriers that women face
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”38
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
they should be ambitious not just in pursuing their dreams but in aspiring to become leaders in their fields
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
And I hope that you—yes, you—have the ambition to lean in to your career and run the world. Because the world needs you to change it
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
So please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do it
2015年11月3日
1. The Leadership Ambition Gap: What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
I should urge more women to believe in themselves and aspire to lead
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
Ask a man to explain his success and he will typically credit his own innate qualities and skills. Ask a woman the same question and she will attribute her success to external factors, insisting she did well because she “worked really hard,” or “got lucky,” or “had help from others
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
She told me that I had been admitted to Harvard for my personality, not my academic potential. Very comforting.
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
But no matter how well I did academically, I always felt like I was about to get caught for not really knowing anything
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
the real issue was not that I felt like a fraud, but that I could feel something deeply and profoundly and be completely wrong.
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
I learned over time that while it was hard to shake feelings of self-doubt, I could understand that there was a distortion
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
smiling solidly for a full hour. Some days, the smile came naturally
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
Research backs up this “fake it till you feel it” strategy
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
A simple change in posture led to a significant change in attitude
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
But feeling confident—or pretending that you feel confident—is necessary to reach for opportunities
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
They were impatient about their own development and believed that they were capable of doing more. And they were often right—just like my brother. The women, however, were more cautious about changing roles and seeking out new challenges
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
It is hard to visualize someone as a leader if she is always waiting to be told what to do
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
Padmasree Warrior, Cisco’s chief technology officer, was asked by The Huffington Post, “What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from a mistake you’ve made in the past?” She responded, “I said no to a lot of opportunities when I was just starting out because I thought, ‘That’s not what my degree is in’ or ‘I don’t know about that domain.’ In retrospect, at a certain point it’s your ability to learn quickly and contribute quickly that matters. One of the things I tell people these days is that there is no perfect fit when you’re looking for the next big thing to do. You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
What it taught me was you have to be very confident,” Ginni said. “Even though you’re so self-critical inside about what it is you may or may not know. And that, to me, leads to taking risks
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
we need to acknowledge that women are less likely to keep their hands up. We need institutions and individuals to notice and correct for this behavior by encouraging, promoting, and championing more women
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
who was honest enough to point out my less-than-gracious response. She was right. Whether the list was ridiculous or not, I didn’t write it and I didn’t have to react negatively to it
2015年11月3日
2. Sit at the Table
But I also know that in order to continue to grow and challenge myself, I have to believe in my own abilities
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
This experiment supports what research has already clearly shown: success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.3 When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
we evaluate people based on stereotypes (gender, race, nationality, and age, among others
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
Just as in real life, performance is highly dependent upon the reaction people have to one another
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
Being at the top of the class may have made life easier for my male peers, but it would have made my life harder.
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
I never really thought about why I went to such efforts to mute my achievements from such a young age
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
Most people, myself included, really want to be liked—and not just because it feels good. Being liked is also a key factor in both professional and personal success
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
No one wanted to toot her own horn
2015年11月3日
3. Success and Likeability
The goal of a successful negotiation is to achieve our objectives and continue to have people like us
2015年11月4日
3. Success and Likeability
I fantasized about all sorts of rejoinders, but in the end, my best response was to ignore the attacks and do my job.
2015年11月4日
3. Success and Likeability
believes that learning to withstand criticism is a necessity for women
2015年11月4日
3. Success and Likeability
She does not believe it is realistic or even desirable to tell women not to care when we are attacked
2015年11月4日
3. Success and Likeability
She points to children as her role model. A child can cry one moment and run off to play the next. For me, this has been good advice
2015年11月4日
3. Success and Likeability
One of the things he told me was that my desire to be liked by everyone would hold me back. He said that when you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
I want to apply to work with you at Facebook,” she said. “So I thought about calling you and telling you all of the things I’m good at and all of the things I like to do. Then I figured that everyone was doing that. So instead, I want to ask you: What is your biggest problem, and how can I solve it?”
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
We all want a job or role that truly excites and engages us. This search requires both focus and flexibility, so I recommend adopting two concurrent goals: a long-term dream and an eighteen-month plan
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
I tried to stay socially conscious by joining the highly unpopular Nonprofit Club. I also spent my second year studying social marketing—how marketing can be used to solve social problems—with Professor Kash Rangan
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
Eric responded with perhaps the best piece of career advice that I have ever heard. He covered my spreadsheet with his hand and told me not to be an idiot (also a great piece of advice). Then he explained that only one criterion mattered when picking a job—fast growth. When companies grow quickly, there are more things to do than there are people to do them. When companies grow more slowly or stop growing, there is less to do and too many people to not be doing them. Politics and stagnation set in, and everyone falters. He told me, “If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, you don’t ask what seat. You just get on.”
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
My brother has always elected to work where his expertise would be in demand so he can have the greatest impact.
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
letting the other side make the first offer is often crucial to achieving favorable terms
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
In my personal life, I am not someone who embraces uncertainty
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
But in my professional life, I have learned to accept uncertainty and even embrace it. Risk—and a great deal of luck—landed me at Google. That worked out so well that I decided to embrace risk again, which led me to Facebook
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
As I did when I joined Google, I prioritized potential for fast growth and the mission of the company above title.
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
I have seen both men and women miss out on great opportunities by focusing too much on career levels
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
In many cases, women need to be more open to taking risks in their careers
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
The cost of stability is often diminished opportunities for growth.
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
But in business, being risk averse can result in stagnation.
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
At times, staying in the same functional area and in the same organization creates inertia and limits opportunity to expand. Seeking out diverse experiences is useful preparation for leadership
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
Being risk averse in the workplace can also cause women to be more reluctant to take on challenging tasks
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
One reason women avoid stretch assignments and new challenges is that they worry too much about whether they currently have the skills they need for a new role
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
Men apply if they think they meet 60 percent of the requirements.7 This difference has a huge ripple effect. Women need to shift from thinking “I’m not ready to do that” to thinking “I want to do that—and I’ll learn by doing it.”
2015年11月4日
4. It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any
2015年11月5日
5. Are You My Mentor?
Intuitively, people invest in those who stand out for their talent or who can really benefit from help. Mentors continue to invest when mentees use their time well and are truly open to feedback. It may turn into a friendship, but the foundation is a professional relationship
2015年11月5日
5. Are You My Mentor?
We need to stop telling them, “Get a mentor and you will excel.” Instead, we need to tell them, “Excel and you will get a mentor.”
2015年11月5日
5. Are You My Mentor?
He had done his homework and knew that I care deeply about education. In our first meeting and in every interaction we’ve had since, Garrett has been respectful of my time
2015年11月5日
5. Are You My Mentor?
And he always follows up to let me know the results of our discussion
2015年11月5日
5. Are You My Mentor?
Leading with a vague question such as, “What is Facebook’s culture like?” shows more ignorance than interest in the company, since there are hundreds of articles that provide this answer. Preparation is especially important when looking for a job
2015年11月5日
5. Are You My Mentor?
He told me to figure out what I wanted to do before I went to see the people who had the ability to hire me
2015年11月5日
5. Are You My Mentor?
A mentee who is positive and prepared can be a bright spot in a day. For this same reason, mentees should avoid complaining excessively to a mentor. Using a mentor’s time to validate feelings may help psychologically, but it’s better to focus on specific problems with real solutions
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
I learned from Fred that effective communication starts with the understanding that there is my point of view (my truth) and someone else’s point of view (his truth). Rarely is there one absolute truth, so people who believe that they speak the truth are very silencing of others
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
mirror each other, which means restating the other person’s point before responding to it
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
“Michelle, I understand that you are upset because I ate the last lollipop and you wanted it.” As painful as this was at the time, reflecting someone’s viewpoint clarifies the disagreement and becomes a starting point for resolution
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
Being aware of a problem is the first step to correcting it. It is nearly impossible to know how our actions are perceived by others. We can try to guess what they’re thinking, but asking directly is far more effective
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
Still, people rarely seek enough input
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
Because you’re new and not fully up to speed on how we do things, I thought you might see something we were missing.” Apparently not in my case. But Secretary Rubin sent a powerful message to all of us about the value of soliciting ideas from every corner (literally).
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
As hard as it is to have an honest dialogue about business decisions, it is even harder to give individuals honest feedback
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
One thing that helps is to remember that feedback, like truth, is not absolute. Feedback is an opinion, grounded in observations and experiences, which allows us to know what impression we make on others
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
“How can I do better?” “What am I doing that I don’t know?” “What am I not doing that I don’t see?” These questions can lead to many benefits. And believe me, the truth hurts. Even when I have solicited feedback, any judgment can feel harsh
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
Instead of reaching out to offer assistance, I called Commissioner Kelly with a request from the secretary. The impression I made was that my job was to demand and his job was to listen. It was a mistake
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
And after I employed my “What have I done for you lately?” approach, they were far more eager to return the favor
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
Miscommunication is always a two-way street. If I wanted more suggestions, I would have to take responsibility for making that clear
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
Another way I try to foster authentic communication is to speak openly about my own weaknesses
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
When people are open and honest, thanking them publicly encourages them to continue while sending a powerful signal to others
2015年11月6日
6. Seek and Speak Your Truth
Humor can be an amazing tool for delivering an honest message in a good-natured way. A recent study even found that “sense of humor” was the phrase most frequently used to describe the most effective leaders
2015年11月7日
7. Don’t Leave Before You Leave
For some women, pregnancy does not slow them down at all, but rather serves to focus them and provides a firm deadline to work toward
2015年11月7日
7. Don’t Leave Before You Leave
She not only worked her usual hours as an attorney but organized her house and put five years of photos into albums
2015年11月8日
7. Don’t Leave Before You Leave
Don’t put on the brakes. Accelerate. Keep a foot on the gas pedal until a decision must be made. That’s the only way to ensure that when that day comes, there will be a real decision to make
2015年11月9日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
All of us are dealing with the constrained optimization that is life, attempting to maximize our utility based on parameters like career, kids, relationships, etc., doing our best to allocate the resource of time
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
Another one of my favorite posters at Facebook declares in big red letters, “Done is better than perfect.”
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
McKinsey would never stop making demands on our time, so it was up to us to decide what we were willing to do. It was our responsibility to draw the line
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
Over time, he noticed that people quit for one reason only: they were burnt out, tired of working long hours and traveling. Larry said he could understand the complaint, but what he could not understand was that all the people who quit—every single one—had unused vacation time
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
The best way to make room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately—to set limits and stick to them
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
Sleeping four or five hours a night induces mental impairment equivalent to a blood alcohol level above the legal driving limit.20 Sleep deprivation makes people anxious, irritable, and confused. (Just ask Dave.) If I could go back and change one thing about how I lived in those early years, I would force myself to get more sleep.
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
I thought about Larry Kanarek’s speech back at McKinsey and realized that if I didn’t take control of the situation, my new job would prove unsustainable
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
Parental behavioral factors—including fathers who are responsive and positive, mothers who favor “self-directed child behavior,” and parents with emotional intimacy in their marriages—influence a child’s development two to three times more than any form of child care
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
Exclusive maternal care was not related to better or worse outcomes for children. There is, thus, no reason for mothers to feel as though they are harming their children if they decide to work
2015年11月10日
9. The Myth of Doing It All
setting obtainable goals is key to happiness.31 Instead of perfection, we should aim for sustainable and fulfilling
2015年11月10日
10. Let’s Start Talking About It
Whoever has power takes over the noun—and the norm—while the less powerful get an adjective
2015年11月11日
10. Let’s Start Talking About It
Every job will demand some sacrifice. The key is to avoid unnecessary sacrifice
2015年11月11日
10. Let’s Start Talking About It
I talked about leaving work to have dinner with my children and then getting back online after they went to bed. I said that I was sharing my schedule because I wanted to encourage others to personalize their schedules too
2015年11月11日
10. Let’s Start Talking About It
We cannot change what we are unaware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change
2015年11月11日
10. Let’s Start Talking About It
Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.” They held students responsible for the impact their behavior had on others
2015年11月11日
10. Let’s Start Talking About It
Social gains are never handed out. They must be seized
2015年11月11日
11. Working Together Toward Equality
The ideal worker is defined as someone always available for work, and the ‘good mother’ is defined as always available to her children
2015年11月11日
11. Working Together Toward Equality
Our job is not to make young women grateful. It is to make them ungrateful so they keep going
