幸福是什么？#每周一TED# 007
真是一个好亲切、和蔼、温柔、优雅的老爷爷，好想抱抱他～
幸福是个啥？估计你也能猜到了，它不是钱，不是名声，不是没日没夜地工作.......
让我想到一个故事：北野武，说他没出名之前想有一天有了钱，一定要开跑车，吃高档餐厅，跟女人们睡觉。而真正功成名就的时候，他发现开保时捷的感觉并没有那么好，因为“看不到自己开保时捷的样子”。结果他就让朋友开，自己打个出租车，在后面跟着，还对出租司机说：看，那是我的车。。。
下面我们就来花几分钟时间，看看这个演讲里的幸福是什么？
1. 提问式开头。
what keep us healthy and happy as we go through life?
if we were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and energy?
what if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age, to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?
于是就有了这个持续75年的实验～两组被试， 截然不同的精彩纷呈的人生......
some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top, and some made that journey in the opposite direction.
2. 通过调研，我们获得了什么？
the clearest message that we get from this 75 years study is this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
we've learned 3 big lessons about relationships:
A. the social connections are really good for us , and that loneliness kills.
loneliness kills 时常感到孤独的人，健康状况会受到很大影响。并不是人多，就不孤独了，你如果没有跟人建立良好的连接，人多的时候照样会感到孤独，婚姻里一样会体会孤独......
B . it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.
high-conflict marriages,without much affection,turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting devorced.
是的，整天冲突的悲惨婚姻，还不如离了痛快。让孩子成日呆在一个充满争吵、怨念、愤怒的家庭里，还不如早点离婚，给孩子个清静的小天地。
C. good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains.
当老头说出 can really feel they can count on the other people in the times of need的时间，我都要感动哭了～这就是伴侣吧。为什么单身老头老太太得老年痴呆的概率比较大，因为良好的、长期的、稳定的伴侣关系，不仅可以保护我们的身体，也可以保护我们的大脑。
3. 结语
the good life is built with good relationships.
所以，幸福是啥？让我想到最浪漫的事里的歌词：我能想到最浪漫的事/就是和你一起慢慢变老/一路上收藏点点滴滴的欢笑/留到以后坐着摇椅慢慢聊/我能想到最浪漫的事/就是和你一起慢慢变老/直到我们老得哪儿也去不了/你还依然把我当成手心里的宝。。。
这个演讲，结合哈佛大学TalBen Shahar教授的《幸福课》，每日吞服，效果更佳：
（幸福课有23堂，每堂课一个多小时，慢慢吞吧:) ↓↓↓
