Writing | The 3rd Edition(Redraf

Dear Samantha,

Thank you for your suggestion. Here is the redrafted speech.

I'd like to begin with a story about our journey with Crum over last year. We have renewed our friendship with it. And as a nice extra, I would mention the praise we received on our dedication to quality from the company.

With this in mind, let's proceed to the main body. I'm considering starting with the roadblocks. The main obstacle we were facing was unsolved defects 3 months ago. Besides,we had minor barrier on other tech issues.  This brings me to my next point: solutions. We've changed update delivery and improved Quality Assurance processes. The results are the best we've ever had: the hinders have been removed successfully, which it's not possible without cross-team collaboration. 

In the closing, let me summarize quickly and thank everyone for having the journey together. Looking at the future, further support will be continuously needed to avoid barriers with customers.

Best,

June