About brokeness

What I have realized recently , is that my heart is too broken to receive anything goodness and beauty from outside. Even though the most beautiful things passing through my life, they can't enter into the very core of my heart.

There was 3-months peaceful time I spent in an island of New Zealand at the end of last year. The dolpin's free dances are still in my vision today, their croon still echoing in my ears from time to time.The water was pure, the air was sweet, that felt like a time of staying heaven.

Even so , I wonder what dose these have to do with me ?

This is how broken my heart is.Full of meaningless and darkness, wreathed in grey mist.There is no way for anything good or beautiful across the bloody distance I keep from the world.Physically I can see them,touch them, smell them...yet non of them is able to enter the core of my heart.

How sad my heart is . The chill autumn wind is wandering on the barrens.

2020.4.24

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