爱，爱情，婚姻
什么是爱 Love？
在我眼中，广义的爱是世上一切的真相。是我们作为生命的存在本身以及我们和宇宙的和谐共振。而狭义的爱，是某种决定，选择，行为。更狭义一点的爱，是我们和他人（物）建立的深度连结。而人们口中常常讨论的爱，其实和爱没有任何关系。
Love is the ultimate reality. It is the only. The all. The feeling of love is your experience of God. In highest Truth, love is all there is, all there was, and all there ever will be.
All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by one of two emotions - fear or love.
Love is a DECISION. It is a CHOICE. It is an ACTION. It is what we decide to do and the direction we choose to take whenever we reach the Critical Crossroads in our life --- which we do nearly once a day throughout our lives.The Critical Crossroads are what Conversations with God also calls the Choice Points in our lives. These are the moments in which we decide Who We Are and Who We Choose to Be. When we decide that Who We Are is LOVE, that choice --- made in advance of moments, events, situations, and circumstances in our life --- dramatically affects, shapes, and creates the decisions we make about the thoughts, words, and actions we embrace as we move through our lives.
我说，人与人之间并没有教或被教这种事。如果说有所谓真正的教育，那不过是爱。爱是唯一的教育。
浪漫关系 Romantic Relationships
浪漫关系，或者是爱情关系是两个人之间可以建立的最亲密的关系。是自我成长的最好的课程。
如果，当我们对别人说我爱你，而期待别人也说我爱你，或者担心别人不会说我爱你的话。我们可能就没有真正地活在“爱”中，而是活在“恐惧”中。我们可能认为自己是一个善良慷慨的人（理论上的），可是，当我们进入一段亲密关系后，对伴侣的一些小事斤斤计较，那么，这就在实践上显示出我们离理想中自己的距离。我们可能认为自己是个独立女性，要求平等不依附男性且尊重对方的自由，可是，当自己进入一段亲密关系后，发现自己也会有嫉妒控制欲没有安全感的一面。所以，亲密关系，是我们内心恐惧情绪最好的镜子，也最能够让我们认清自己，更好地成长。当然，这些成长的前提是，我们在恋爱关系中没有戴着面具， 并且，我们时时反思。
因此，在浪漫关系中，我们应当关注的是自己，而不是对方。也只有当自己内心纯净，把自己情感上的恐惧和创伤都疗愈好了，才能给对方带来更多的爱而不是伤害。在我眼中，对另外一个人最理想的爱，是无条件的爱。（当然，我不得不承认，我从未做到过。）
Relationships are constantly challenging; constantly calling you to create, express, and experience higher and higher aspects of yourself, grander and grander visions of yourself, ever more magnificent versions of yourself. You can choose to be a person who has resulted simply from what has happened, or from what you’ve chosen to be and do about what has happened. It is in the latter form that creation of Self becomes conscious. It is in the second experience that Self becomes realized.
The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you’d like to see “show up,” not what part of another you can capture and hold. There can be only one purpose for relationships—and for all of life: to be and to decide Who You Really Are. - which is love itself.
Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather than what they can put into them.- Relationships are sacred because they provide life’s grandest opportunity—indeed, its only opportunity—to create and produce the experience of your highest conceptualization of Self. Relationships fail when you see them as life’s grandest opportunity to create and produce the experience of your highest conceptualization of another. Let each person in relationship worry about Self—what Self is being, doing, and having; what Self is wanting, asking, giving; what Self is seeking, creating,experiencing, and all relationships would magnificently serve their purpose—and their participants! Let each person in relationship worry not about the other, but only, only, only about Self.
This seems a strange teaching, for you have been told that in the highest form of relationship, one worries only about the other. Yet I tell you this: your focus upon the other—your obsession with the other—is what causes relationships to fail.
And when you love, be authentic and true. When you love, be authentic and true, and say only, ' At this moment I feel this - when the next moment comes I will tell you'... as if this moment is the whole of life. And I tell you, if you are so loving at this moment then the next moment you will be more loving, because the next moment is born out of this moment. But that is not a promise, not an insurance. If you have loved so totally in this moment you will love even more totally in the next. It looks absurd - how can totality be more? But it happens. Life is absurd. If you have loved totally and authentically and truly and bloomed in this moment, why fear the next moment? You will bloom. Even if this flower fades, another flower will come. Don't be bothered with this flower. Life goes on blooming into this flower, into that one, sometimes on this tree, sometimes on another. But life continues, flowers fade. It means that form fades but the formless goes on moving. So why bother? But you are bothered because you are missing this moment, that is why you are afraid of the next moment. This moment you have not loved; that is why you are making securities for another moment. This moment you have not lived; that is why you are so scare of the unknown. You are making securities for how to live in the next moment.
婚姻 Marriage
目前我看到对婚姻最好的描写来自奥修的《当鞋合脚时》。
婚姻从历史以来就和爱没有关系。而和社会稳定和金钱地位等外在条件有关。只是近代人们才把爱情加入到结婚的条件中。
可是，爱情和婚姻本来就是两个截然不同互不相融的东西。爱情存在于现在，存在于每一个双方产生连结的瞬间中。它可能现在存在，明天就消失了。而婚姻的存在是出于对爱情消失的恐惧，于是，政府宣布用结婚证来让爱情永不过期。当然，这个证书不过是一个空头支票。反过来说，如果说两个人真正相爱，并且觉得他们永远会相爱下去，又有什么结婚的必要呢？
因此，很明确的是，选择婚姻和选择爱情是两个不同的选择。没有好坏之分，但是很多人把他们混淆了。
那么，爱情就不能持久吗？其实未必。今天你爱着这个人，你不知道明天你是不是还会爱着他，也更不知道明天你是不是不会爱他。因为生命的本质就是不确定的。
今天你爱着这个人，你觉得自己会永远爱着对方，于是，你向对方承诺，你会永远爱着对方。但是，这仅仅你当下这一刻真实的感觉，谁也无法保证，明天你的承诺能不能兑现，就像我们都不能保证明天会不会还活着那样。
因此，我认为，对待爱情的态度是，今天它发生了，那么愉快地感受它。不为了明天而焦虑。如果今天好好得爱着，明天很大程度上会爱得更深，因为明天的开始是今天。但对此，我们无法保证，也无需保证。而对待婚姻的态度是，它和爱情无关，和社会稳定有关。爱情是自然中盛开的花朵，你不知道它何时会凋零，婚姻是瓶中的塑料花朵，它永不凋谢。想清楚这些，无论选择爱情或者婚姻，都不会让人纠结困惑了。
A mother's love is unconditional; it is given to you, she shares. A father's love is unconditional - just because you are his child, he loves you, there is no need to earn it. But when you move into the world you have to earn a husband's love, a wife's love. And any moment it can be withdrawn. Fear, insecurity... Hence marriage has come into existence, because lovers are so insecure they want legal sanction. So the government protects them, the society protects them. Otherwise what would be the need for marriage? If love is really there, you need not get married. Why? There is a fear that the love may be here today but who knows about tomorrow? And if love goes, then what will you do? Who will you fall back on? The law, the court, the government - they become the securities. Then you can go to the court and you can demand love.
Every society makes divorce as difficult as possible, marriage as easy as possible. This seems absurd, it should be just the opposite. Marriage should be made as difficult as possible, because two persons are moving in an unknown world; let them wait, watch, think, brood, meditate. Give them time. To my mind it seems that at least three years should be allowed before the court allows anybody to marry. And I think that then nobody would get married!
Life is dangerous, but that is the beauty of it - it is insecure, because insecurity is the very nature of movement, aliveness, vitality. The more dead you are, the more secure. When you are in your grave there will be no danger. What can happen to you anymore? Nothing! Nobody can harm you when you are dead. But when you are alive, you are vulnerable, you can be harmed. But I tell you, that is the beauty of life. A flower in the morning can not believe that by the evening it will be gone. But that is the beauty of it - in the morning it is so glorious, so magnificent, an emperor, and by the evening it is gone. Just think of a flower made of stone or plastic - it remains. It remains; it will never fade. But whenever something never fades it means it never bloomed. Marriage is a plastic flower, love is the real flower - in the morning it blooms, by the evening it has gone. A marriage continues, it has a permanency about it. But in this impermanent world how can anything real be permanent?
Everything real will have to exist moment to moment. And there is insecurity: any moment it can disappear. The flower that blooms will fade; the sun that has arisen will set. Everything will change. If you are too afraid of insecurity then you will make arrangements, and with those arrangements you will kill everything. A wife is a dead beloved, a husband is a murdered lover. Then things are settled - there is no problem. But then the whole life drags.
