Call me by your name-Week 1

I thought at first that the young man would have to spend some time to recognize his desire and love. I did not think that in the first ten pages, he had already claimed that he was in a crazy crush - what to write next in the rest of pages. But my guess was wrong. For those who are in a crush, the emotional micro-wave can trigger the whole person's crisis. All those contradictory and complicated emotions are written in a long paragraph. At one moment he feels like in the heaven, and another moment he falls into hell. Elio hopes Oliver knows immediately and then hopes that he will never know. He imagines himself dying and let Oliver know that he died for him. Elio is also like a fetish who is obsessed with Oliver's shirt, red swim trunks and his angle of the clavicle. All the time, he is chasing Oliver's shadow, chasing Oliver all the time, and also hoping to be chased by that shadow. He is like the only one person playing to the audience, and the director is himself. Sometimes, I just don't like to read that he is lying by the pool, lying in the room, hoping that Oliver can see him in a certain corner and fall in love with him. So childish, so young, so naive, so not understandable.

I guess everyone's crush is similar. I  just feel uncomfortable to read them because, I guess, the feeling was gone for me for a long time. Maybe I just forgot how it was felt.