自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
作者：奥斯卡·王尔德
自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
I remember one morning sitting in the yellowing woods at Bracknell with your mother. At that time I knew very little of your real nature. She told me of your two chief faults, your vanity, and your being, as she termed it, " all wrong about money." I have a distinct recollection of how I laughed.
记得有一天清晨，我与你母亲一起，坐在布拉克内尔秋黄渐浓的林中。那时我对你的本性还知之甚少。她告诉我你有两大缺点，你的虚荣心，和你一直，用她的话来说：“对金钱的看法完全是错误的”。我清楚地记得当时我是多么不以为然。
自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
I thought vanity a sort of graceful flower for a young man to wear; as for extravagance -- the virtues of prudence and thrift were not in my own nature. I had no idea that the first would bring me to prison, and the second to bankruptcy. You demanded without grace and received without thanks. When I tell you that between the autumn of 1892 and the date of my imprisonment I spent with you and on you more than ￡5000 in actual money, irrespective of the bills I incurred, you would have some idea of the sort of life for which you insisted.
我认为虚荣心之于一个年轻人，就如同他所佩戴的一种优雅之花，至于奢侈-----勤俭节约的美德也不在我自己的本性之中。但我却完全没有想到，那第一点将会把我带进了监狱，而那第二点则导致了我的破产。你毫无风度地一味索取，而且接受得如此坦然，连一句感谢的话都没有。要是我告诉你，自1892年秋到我入狱那天，这期间我在你身上花费了已超过5000英镑的现金，还不包括我支付的账单。这应该会让你，对你坚持的是什么样的生活，有所了解了吧。
自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
Do you think I exaggerate?
My ordinary expenses with you for an ordinary day in London -- for luncheon, dinner, supper, amusements, hansoms and the rest of it -- ranged from ￡12 to ￡20. For our three months at Goring my expenses were ￡1340. Step by step with the Bankruptcy Receiver I had to go over every item of my life. It was horrible. " Plain living and high thinking" was, of course, an ideal you could not at that time have appreciated, but such extravagance was a disgrace to both of us.
你认为我夸大其词了吗？
我与你在伦敦普通一天的日常花费--用于午餐、晚餐、夜宵、玩乐、车马及其他等--大概在12到20英镑之间。我们在戈林的三个月之内，就花了我1340英镑。我不得不与破产接收员一起，一步一步地清算我生活中每笔项目的开支情况。这太可怕了。“生活平淡，思想崇高”这，显然，是你那时所无法认同的一种价值观，但如此的奢侈挥霍，无论对你我来说，都是一种耻辱。
自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
One of the most delightful dinners I remember ever having had is one Robbie and I had together in a little Soho cafe,which cost about as many shillings as my dinners to you cost pounds. Out of my dinner with Robbie came the first and best of all my dialogues. Idea, title, treatment, mode, everything was struck out at a 3 franc 50 c. table-d'hote. Out of the reckless dinners with you, nothing remains but the memory that too much was eaten and too much was drunk. And my yielding to your demands was bad for you.
我记得最愉快的一顿晚餐，是和罗比一起，在一家小自助咖啡馆吃的。所花费的先令数目，与你我一起宵夜所花费的英镑数目差不多。和罗比一起的这顿饭，让我写出了我所有对话中，第一段也是最精彩的一段对话。想法、标题、处理手法、表达方式、所有的事情，都在一顿仅花费3法郎半的餐桌上定了形。而与你一起的那些挥霍无度的晚餐之后，却什么都没留下，只记得吃的太多，喝的太多。而我对于你无度要求的过度顺从，是有害于你的。
自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
Of course I should got rid of you. I should shaken you out of my life as a man shakes from his raiment a thing that hasstung him. My fault was not that I did not part from you, but that I parted from you far too often. As far as I can make out I ended my friendship with you every three months regularly, and each time that I did so you managed by means of entreaties, telegrams, letters, the interposition of your friends, the interposition of mine, and the like to induce me to allow you back. You threatened that unless I consent to meet you, you would under no circumstances consent to proceed to Egypt. I had myself, with your knowledge and concurrence, begged your mother to send you to Egypt away from England, as you were wrecking your life in London. I knew that if you did not go it would be a terrible disappointment to her, and for her sake I did meet you, and under the influence of great emotion, which even you cannot forgotten, I forgave the past, though I said nothing at all about the future.
当然，我早应该摆脱你。我应该把你从我的生活中抖出去，就像从衣服上抖落一个恼人的东西。我的错误，不在于我没有离开你，而是离开的太频繁了。按我算来，差不多每三个月我就想和你断交。而每次我这样做时，你都会用恳求、电报、书信，让你或我的朋友来说情，和诸如此类的方式，迫使我和你重修于好。你威胁说，除非我答应见你，否则你就绝不答应动身去埃及。我曾亲自，告知并经你同意，去恳求你的母亲，送你离开英国去埃及，因为如果你留在伦敦，你会毁了你的生活的。我知道，如果你没有去，对于你母亲来说，将会是多么的失望。为了你的母亲，我的确去见了你，在就算是你，也无法忘怀的强烈情感影响下，我原谅了过去的种种，尽管我对于未来，无话可说.........
———未完待续
（真念一思译）
（图片来自网络，向原作者致敬致谢！）
自深深处——王尔德致波西的信（三）
