英语英语,你才刚刚开始前路可期【翻译】♡

有些英语考试的写作考的就是套路,比如托福

2016-04-27  本文已影响4770人  丧心病狂的小坚果儿

欢迎大家订阅我的文集:

我的微信公众号:wannongyingyu 那里文章的更新日期比这里至少早三个月,期待大家关注最新鲜的英语学习经验。 

有一些英语考试(托福、BEC、四六级)的写作其实满满的都是套路,只要掌握模板,拿高分就不是什么难事,这与基础无关,看你想不想学了。

今天以新托福考试的写作为例,教给大家我独立总结出的这套写作模板,我前后共参加过两次托福考试,一次作文29,一次满分,我把这套模板推荐给了其他人后,他们的托福作文最低现在是27,满分的比比皆是。



1.

废话不多说,我先以综合作文为例,就是文章与听力材料结合起来写的那篇。

大家一定要注意,写这篇的时候,听懂材料是第一步,在此之前,读懂那篇passage更为关键

大家都知道,听力中的内容百分之百是和passage中的观点对立的,读懂了后者,有时候你甚至能猜出听力中的教授会说什么。

写的时候,一定要重点突出教授的观点,也就是描述听力材料的句子要多,描述passage材料的就一带而过。整片文章的字数是越多越好(前提是你得保证在规定时间里你能够写完)。

我来给大家简单写个框架,以5月16日当天的题目为例,passage大体讲的是新产品的推出对公司发展很有帮助,听力材料里argue,新产品对公司发展没有卵用,甚至还会阻碍公司发展。

第一步起个题目,一般我都是所有字母都用大写,就算凑字数吧我的题目是:WHETHER THE NEW PRODUCT IS BENEFICIAL FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF A COMPANY

文章开头(第一段)我一般都用这一句:On

the basis of what I have heard from the listening material and read from the

passage, I can clearly tell that……tell什么呢?这个tell是分辨的意思,就是我能分辨出the speaker is mainly discussing that+讨论的内容。接下来非常非常关键,也是我觉得我作文得高分的最主要原因。就是我在这里就把Speaker的论据简单列出来了。

以考试当天的真题题目为例,这句话是这样的

On the basis of what I have heard from thelistening material and read from the passage, I can clearly tell that thespeaker is mainly discussing the infeasibility of the ways mentioned in thepassage to push forward a successful company to grow continuouslyin consideration of the bad feelings of the old customers brought by the new version of a product, the possibility that a company specializing in a product may screw up the whole thing once changing her business line and the bad reputation caused by cooperating with other companies.That strongly challenges the point of views held by thenarrator. Followed are the three aspects where the two materials diverge fromeach other.

这是文章的第一段,翻译一下就是:依据我从听力材料中所听到的,已经文章中读到的,我能清晰地分辨出教授主要谈论的问题是考虑到一种产品的新版本对老顾客带来的不良体验,改变生产领域会搞砸一切还有与其他公司合作所面临的名声变糟等问题,会使这些方法变得极为不可行。(加粗部分就是听力材料的简单论点,不用展开说,否则第一段就成了整片文章了。)这对narrator(passage的作者,主语要时常变换,比如可以用reading passage, writer还有reading material或者passage)所持有的观点是极力的挑战。以下就是这两篇材料难以达成一致的地方。注意:我用句子喜欢用比较复杂的,大家可用些简单句,表达出意思来就好。

然后就把论据都展开说了

第一个论据(第二段):以听力材料中的为主,To begin with, it is argued by the professor that……这里不展开写了,第一个论据是一种产品的新版本对老顾客带来的不良体验,比如老顾客看到新版本会觉得自己过时了,然后就会对新版本持有偏见(这里我用了一个词组hold prejudice against)最后连老版本都不买了。顾客都不买东西了,赚个毛线钱啊?如果听力中提到了例子,把例子也写出来。好了,听力材料说的差不多了,话锋一转,要用体现出转折的词组如on the contrary, in contrast还有on the other hand,不建议用however或but,因为不显眼,也不利于凑字数。话锋一转,开始说文章中的观点,一句话带过,不用举列子。

第二个论据(第三段):Second of all, the professor makes that point that……后面还是和第一个论据一致,换换内容就可以了。话锋一转,一笔带过passage中的观点。

第三个论据(第四段):Furthermore(这个词不错)后面参照上面两段,话锋一转,一笔带过文章中的观点。

结尾(第五段):To summarize或In summary(推荐用这个,summarize比较容易拼错)最后一段也很简单,我一般写The point of views mentioned in the reading material are jeopardized(这个词要用到) by the professor while the speaker is completely opposed of what is believed by the writer. be completely opposed of是完全反对的意思。

总结一下综合作文的写法:分5段,第一段开头(论据要简单列出哦)第二段展开写第一个论据,第三段展开写第二个论据,第四段展开写第三个论据。最后一段总结。以听力材料为主,通篇文章我大约写到450至470字之间。


2.

再说独立作文

题目:

when people spend a lot of time watching sports on television or following their favorite team,it has negative effects on their lives? Do you agree or disagree that? Please……

这个更好写了,这种agree或disagree的问题,一定要选一个照死了写,要么全盘同意,要么全盘否定,别想着用马克里主义哲学辩证唯物论一分为二的看待问题,要是你模棱两可,没有重点,那么你的分数也就一分为二了。这种题目没有观点对错,你能说出道理支持你的观点,那就是好的。

文章开头(第一段)

In the contemporary society, there is a theory arguing that +把题目换一种说法写出来,别照抄,那样显得很没料。然后写,this idea has triggered public concerns and the debate over it has been heating up.这句纯属凑字数的。有没有引起激烈讨论谁知道啊?After serious consideration(其实没有经过认真考虑,感觉哪个好写就写哪个), I totally/absolutely vote for the point of view.然后关键又来了,on account of the lacking of rest due to staying up to watch sports, the bad mood someone may get involved in and the deteriorating relationship between people and their family members.由于熬夜看比赛导致我们缺觉,可能陷入不良情绪中以及人们与家人之间关系的恶化,我完全赞成这一观点。像综合作文一样,把你的论据在第一段中简单一列,下面展开的时候围绕着写就行了。第一段最后再来一句Next I will be listing thereasons in support of my arguments.

第一个论据(第二段):In the first place, there is no denying that watching sports leads to the reduction of the time people spend on rest or sleep. As a result, they will feel extremely distracted, sleepy and absent-minded next day when they go to work. What’s worse is that some huge mistakes may be made.前面这几句是观点,后面一点要举出列子(例子可以随便编,相信我,ETS改作文的不会闲得蛋疼去查这些例子的真实性,出分都弄得他们焦头烂额,再去查这个,非累死这帮孙子)It reminds me of an example that matches my idea to the fullest extent.我举得例子是有些在其他国家举办的奥运会、世界杯或者欧洲杯由于时差原因,都是在中国的半夜踢,人们得熬夜看球,本来用来睡觉的时间却强打着精神看球去了,第二天有精神才怪。我一个叫Jack(随便编个名字)的朋友就因为熬夜看球第二天把财务的帐给算错了,直接让公司开除了。这不就是看体育比赛给人们生活带来的负面影响吗?

第二个论据(第三段):Secondly, as we all know, people are easilyexposed to the effect of their mood, under some circumstance with which the performances of the team they support are closely linked.众所周知,人类是情绪动物,在某些情况下,他们所支持的球队的表现和情绪息息相关。接下来还是例子,大家别总用for example,去网上搜一些举例子的英文说法。To illustrate my point, a football game in the Chinese League can be cited as an example.我举的例子是中国的甲A联赛,这个不是我编的,是真事,有一年,上海申花被北京国安灌了个9比1,一个上海的球迷看完球直接把电视机从自家楼上扔下去了(这是真事)但是,后面的就是我编的了,电视机爆炸了,导致两人被烧伤(我太邪恶了,总得强调出事态的严重性才更有说服力吧)我也是灵光一现想出了这个例子,大家可以自由发挥,编一个也行,比方说英国的足球流氓在球队输球后闹事儿或者有些人在心爱的球队输球后裸奔,打砸抢什么的,越生动越好。

第三个论据(第四段):In addition, watching sports worsens the relationship between people and their family members. The thing is especially true for husband and wife.观看体育比赛恶化了人们与家庭成员之间的关系,尤其是夫妻之间。比如,丈夫要看球,妻子要看《甄嬛传》,为了抢电视,俩人对骂,女的指责男的,你无情,无耻,无理取闹,男的就问我哪儿无情,哪儿无耻,哪儿无理取闹?(这句加不加随便,你要是觉得能翻译的信达雅就加上,老外还不笑疯了给你满分?)最后俩人搓起来了,夫妻关系恶化了。

结尾(第五段):Based on what has been discussed above,we may reach a safe conclusion that +你的观点。Although有些人还是认为看比赛或支持球队能让自己放松,怎么怎么样(这个小让步绝对不能少,切记)后面加一句反驳他的,we must admit that watching sports or supporting the favorite team does more harm than good to people. We are supposed to合理安排看比赛的时间,不要痴迷其中,才不会对我们的生活带来影响。

总结:独立作文也分5段,和综合作文一样。但是注意,例子绝对不能省,可以编,都无所谓,第一段要简单列一些论据,最后一段要有个小让步。


3.

只写这些大家可能会看的云里雾里,因为总归要有个范文嘛,但是因为时间久远,我已经没法回忆起当天考试自己写的东西了,但是不要担心,我在备考托福都会用到的TPO中选了两篇自己平时练习的文章,供大家参考。本次选的是TPO 1中的作文,大家可以自己去TPO 1中看一下作文题目。

范文如下,大家可以比对是不是按照我总结的模板所写

综合作文:

WHETHER WORKING FOUR DAYS A WEEK IS POSITIVE?

On the basis of what I have heard from the listening material and read from the passage, I have a clear idea that the professor in her lecture is mainly discussing the negative effects posed by working four days a week on a company in terms of the extra investment a company has to put into some equipment and the human resource cost, the harm to other employees and the reduce of the possibility to get promoted. That strongly challenges the points of views held by the narrator and thinks of them as unconvincing. Followed are the three aspects where the two materials diverge from each other.

In the first place, the speaker says in a statement in her lecture that a four-day week will impose miscellaneous costs on a company and as a result, the company will not be able to profit from the operation. She cites some expenses as an example to illustrate her point. A company has no alternative but to spend more money in training and benefits for the new staff it has hired for the four-day week job and what’s worse is that more office space will be taken up and more computers will be purchased. On the contrary, the passage believes that a company can benefit from this model of work since the staff will have a good rest and become vigilant about some huge mistakes.

Second of all, it is argued by the professor in the listening material that the rise in the cost puts hiring new staff working four days a week out of the question, which enhances the unemployment rate instead of reducing it. Meanwhile, the work that cannot be accomplished by those staff who only work four days a week will have to be handed out to the full-time employees. There is no doubt that the latter will put themselves under the obligation to work overtime over and over again so that they can make up for the unfinished part of the work. That hurts others morale and activity in the end. In contrast, the narrator suggests that with the help of the employees working four days a week, the burden of the full-time staff can be relieved.

Furthermore, the professor expresses that the four-day workweek will not only block the way that the people’s life quality gets improved but also prevent them from getting promoted. As is often the case, an employer has a preference for considering the people who work five days a week when it comes to promotion rather than the four-day workmen. As a result, the negative impression left on the boss makes it impossible for them to outweigh others not to mention to boost the quality of their lives. On the other hand, it is held that the extra time squeezed by working four days can be spent together with family members so that the quality of life is improved.

In summary, the writer’s points of views are jeopardized by the speaker while the professor is completely opposed of what is supported by the narrator. Both fail to agree on this issue.

独立作文:

In contemporary society, there is a very popular theory stating that the universities are supposed to attach equal importance to the sports and social activities and put equal finance as that they have invested in classes and libraries. This point of view has triggered public concerns and the debate over whether it makes sense or not has been heating up. At the sight of the view, I thought twice about it and now I may rest assured that I vote for it to the fullest extent on account of the important role sports or social activities play in the formation of the mental world and view of value of the students, the solid foundation they will lay for the development students after they step into society and the need for fostering an omnipotent graduate. Followed I will be listing the reasons in support of my arguments.

To begin with, it is undeniable that sports and social activities are extremely conducive to the civilization of the spirit of teamwork, improvement of a student’s mental world and establishment of the correct view of value. Having written down these, I can recall my mind a very good example that matches my argument very well. When I was in my college, I used to stay focused on my study at the beginning and was ignorant of the importance of dealing with others. I did my best to avoid any sports meeting or social activities that could provide me with an opportunity to rub my shoulders with others. By degrees, I became more and more isolated and unwilling to talk with others. Then I came to realize I had made a huge mistake and I would ruin myself if that status continued. I began to do sports and participate in some social activities held by my department, during the process of which, I knew a large number of new friends,learned how to manage something by cooperating with others and realized the importance of teamwork. Thanks to that, I did not become an aloof person.

Secondly, there is no doubt that as a university student, a lack of experience especially that related to society is an unavoidable problem to be addressed. That may get the student exposed to the possibility of offending others due to being not sophisticated. Sports lessons or activities theming society may be the best way to solve that. Through the activities, the students can learn a lot about how to deal and work with others. The experience gained from that can be used for the job after graduating from university. To illustrate my point, I intend to cite Mike, my best friend, as an example. Mike became accustomed to his new role as a new staff after being employed once graduating faster than other graduates and he was accepted by every colleague in the company. When asked the reason, he always attributes the reason to the participation of some social activities and the university’s investment into the activities.

In addition, a student should study well and score high in preparation for hunting for an ideal job but more importantly, omnipotence accounts for a more proportion in that. In other words, high marks do not guarantee a good job. With social ability and sports added, the possibility surges up. Omnipotence matters a lot. How to achieve that? University should support the social activity or sports and then encourage the students to take part in. For instance, a recent survey conducted by PHD. Jia Hui from Southwest University of China reveals that the graduates of the universities which plunge investment into social activities find it much easier to get a good job than those which do not.

Based on what has been discussed above, wemay come to a safe conclusion that universities should put equal financial emphasis on sports and social activities to the traditional lessons or libraries. Although some people may take hold of a point of view that spending money on sports or social activities does not make sense, I still need to stress that so many merits are worth any financial support. Universities, it is time for them to take actions to support the activities and make the university life more colorful!

上一篇下一篇

猜你喜欢

热点阅读