《正面管教》读后感：不要让孩子再去重复我们当年的错误

为方便家长们学到最原汁原味的正面管教知识，我从国外找来一些正面管教资料。以下为正面管教英文站的译文（注：本人英文水平有限，以下内容是谷歌在线直译得来的，欢迎英语水平好的家长校正，我只是知识里的搬运工），更多详细的内容可以参考早期学习正面管教网友分享的正面管教揭密内容。


养孩子是个技术活儿，远比生要难许多。

Raising children is a technical job, much more difficult than giving birth.

首先，你真的理解孩子的每个不良行为背后的动机吗？

First of all, do you really understand the motivation behind every child's bad behavior?

当你认为孩子在寻求过度关注时，孩子实际认为：只有在得到你的关注时，我才有归属感。此时我们应该把孩子引向建设性行为；当你认为孩子在寻求权力时，孩子实际认为：只有当我说了算时，我才有归属感。此时我们应该尽快从权力之争中退出来，让双方都有时间冷静；当你认为孩子在报复时，他实际认为我得不到归属，但至少能让你同样受到伤害。此时我们一定不要还击，要从报复循环中退出来；当你发现孩子自暴自弃时，实际上他在呐喊不要放弃我，请给我一点鼓励、肯定。此时我们一定要关注孩子的优点，千万不要放弃。

When you think that children are seeking excessive attention, they actually think that only when they get your attention, can I have a sense of belonging. At this point, we should lead children to constructive behavior. When you think that children are seeking power, children actually think: only when I has the final say, can I have a sense of belonging. At this point, we should withdraw from the power struggle as soon as possible, so that both sides have time to calm down; when you think that the child is retaliating, he actually thinks that I can not belong, but at least it can hurt you as well. At this time, we must not fight back, we must withdraw from the cycle of revenge; when you find that children abandon themselves, in fact, he is shouting not to give up me, please give me a little encouragement and affirmation. At this time, we must pay attention to the advantages of children and never give up.

其次，你确定自己已经成长为一个合格的成人，而不去跟孩子计较吗？当你激起了孩子上述的不良行为后，有没有意识到，家长的责任其实更重。

Secondly, are you sure you have grown up to be a qualified adult instead of having to worry about your children? When you arouse the children's above-mentioned bad behavior, do you realize that parents are actually more responsible?

有一句话说的好：孩子是家长的复印件，当复印件出了问题，你会怪罪原件还是复印机？

There is a good saying: the child is a parent's copy, when the copy is out of order, you will blame the original or the copier?

第三，人与人之间最远的路，真的是套路。这里有非常多的套路等着你去学习。

Thirdly, the farthest way between people is really a routine. There are many routines waiting for you to learn.