我不想死，我也不想活？ I don't want to die

我不想死，我也不想活  I don’twant to die , I don’t want to live

I do not know in the opposite side of you, have experienced what kindof despair and pain, but please believe when the life is pretty terrible , everythinggoes well at the end .Let me share a story with you .

我不知道在对面的你，曾经经历过什么样的绝望与痛苦，但请相信生活糟糕透了的时候，一切都会慢慢的变好。让我来给你分享一个故事吧。

 I am a 22 years old girl , astudent and I have spent all these years either complaining or begrudging overthings and people I never got to make and I too have felt exactly like how youfeel right now .

我是一个22岁的女孩，一个学生，我花了这么多年的时间，不是抱怨就是嫉妒那些我从来没有做过的事情和人，我也和你现在的感觉一模一样。

But I am not here to tell you my story .Here is what I want to tell youand other people of your age who think that life has been too hard on them

但我不是来这告诉你我的故事的，以下是我想告诉你和你这个年纪的人，他们认为生活对他们来说太艰难了。

There is an old broken house next to an ATM where I frequently go towithdraw cash. I had seen a very old women a couple of times sitting in frontof that house.

在自动取款机旁边有一个破旧的屋子，我经常在那里取现金。我有几次看到一个非常老的女人坐在房子前面。

I felt pity for her as she stared at people who walked in and out of theATM and wondered if she really had anynone to take care of .

我同情她，因为她盯着进出自动取款机的人，想知道她是否真的有人需要照顾。

One day as I was passing by again, she waved at me and smiled.I wavedand smiled back. She started murmuring something and gestured me to come closer.Shewanted to say something .I was in a rush and I also thought that it might be abad idea.

有一天，当我再次经过时，她挥手向我微笑。我挥手微笑回应着，她开始喃喃自语 ，示意我走近一点。她想说点什么，我当时很匆忙，我也觉得这可能是一个坏主意。

So I told her that I had some important class to attend and I wouldcome back to listen whatever she had to say .she replied with a bigger smilesaying , ‘ I know you are not going to come back and that’s okay. You don’thave to make false promise to make me feel better ‘.

所以我告诉她我有一些重要的课要上，我会回来听她说什么。她笑得更大了，回答说：‘我知道你不会回来了，没关系’。你不必做出虚假的承诺让我感觉好受一点。

Fast forward,I made time through my hectic schedule and decided tovisit her. I took some eatables on my way and did not expect her to remember me.

很快，我在繁忙的日程中抽出时间决定去看望她。我在路上带了些吃的，没指望她会记得我。

But to my surprise, she did recognize me and was gald I visited as shehadn’t expected. And this is what her life is like .

但令我吃惊的是，她确实认出了我，她很高兴我能像她预料的那样去拜访她。

And this is what her life is like. She is 87 years old who can barelywalk, month of 3 kids, 2 sons and a daughter. The elder son is happliy married,living with his wife and children .Daughter is mentally disabled and is herresponsibility now .

她的生活就是这样的, 她今年87岁，几乎不能走路，有三个孩子，2个儿子和一个女儿。大儿子幸福地结婚了，和妻儿，孩子住在一起。女儿是智障，现在是她的责任。

The younger son who took care of her, died in a fire accident 3 yearsago. The reason she chose me to talk to the other day was that I resemble herlost son. She misses him but doesn’t cry anymore.

照顾她的小儿子3年前死于一场火灾中。几天前她和我说话的原因是我像她失去的小儿子。她想念他，但不再哭泣。

She says that she’s strong enough to take care of herself and herdaughter.She also believes that her daughter is going to recover soon ans sheis going to get her married and only then she is ready to leave this world.

她说她很强壮，能照顾自己和女儿。她也相信她女儿很快就会康复，她会结婚，只有那时她才会离开这个世界。

I visit her every possible weekend and make sure I make her laugh.Wetalk, eat and share a few moments.She also takes care of 2 dogs(which werestray) and 3 cats who are her best friends and now mine too

我每个周末都会去看她，一定要逗她笑。我们来哦天，吃饭，分享片刻。她还照顾两条狗（它们是流浪的）和3只猫，它们是她最好的朋友，现在也是我最好的朋友。

What I am trying to tell you is that when an 87 years old woman canstand life at its hardest and still hope for the best,why can’t you ? I meanjust look at her smile.She changed my way of seeing life . I am not saying thatstarting a new life is a bad idea. It’s the best decision you ‘ve made .

我想告诉你的是，当一个87岁女人能忍受生活中最艰难的时刻，并且仍抱有最好的希望，为什么你不能？我是说看看她的笑容，她改变了我看待生活的方式。我不是说开始新生活是个坏主意，这是你做的最好的决定。

But start that new life right from wherever you are, new life doesn’thave to start in a new place or with new people around .Start a new life withnew thinking , new way of accepting people and appreciating everything you’vegot, because, believe me there are a lot of people out there who are goingthrough worse.

但无论你在哪里，新的生活不一定从新的地方开始，也不一定有新的人在身边。用新的思维，接受别人的新方式，欣赏你所拥有的一切开始新的生活，因为，相信我有很多人正在经历更糟的事情。

Think about other and not just you. Create happiness instead of looking for it . Life is a lot more than having a perfect house, job and arealationship.

想想别人而不仅是你自己，创造幸福而不是寻找幸福。生活不仅仅是拥有一个完美的房子，工作和一段关系。

Unfortunately，most of us realize that abit too late. Life is so random. We only think that we are contolling ouorcircumstances but actually not

不幸的是，我们大多数人意识到这有点太晚了。生活是如此随机，我们只认为我们在控制我们的环境，但实际上不是。

Take life as it comes.

让生活顺其自然。

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