2006年1月英语四级 - 阅读理解D

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
如果你想教孩子如何说对不起，你必须自己善于说，尤其是对自己的孩子。但怎么说可能并不容易。

If you say to your children “I’m sorry I got angry with you, but …” what follows that “but” can make the apology ineffective: ” I had a bad day” or “your noise was giving me a headache ” leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior.
如果你对你的孩子说“很抱歉我对你发火，但是……”接下来的“但是”会使道歉无效：“我今天过得很糟糕”或“你的噪音让我头疼”会让受伤的人觉得他应该为自己的不良行为道歉。

Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say “I’m sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
另一种人们看似道歉但实际上并没有道歉的方法是说“你这么难过我很抱歉”；这表明你在某种程度上有错，因为你让自己对别人的所作所为感到不安。

These pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness, Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not turn to these pseudo-apologies.
这些虚假的道歉是那些认为说对不起表示软弱的人使用的，希望教孩子道歉的父母应该把道歉视为力量的象征，因此不要求助于这些虚假的道歉。

But even when presented with examples of true regret, children still need help to become aware of the difficulties of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that taking away the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’s clothes without permission is not.
但是，即使出现了真正后悔的例子，孩子们仍然需要帮助，让他们意识到说对不起的困难。一个三岁的孩子可能需要帮助，才能理解其他孩子和他一样感到疼痛，用沉重的玩具击打玩伴的头部需要道歉。一个六岁的孩子可能需要提醒辜负其他孩子的期望可能需要道歉。一个12岁的孩子可能需要证明，未经允许拿走饼干罐是可以接受的，但未经允许借用父母的衣服是不可以的。