生气并不是好事,3个方法化愤怒为力量!
I’m not an angry person. If anything, I tend to err on the side of being too patient and too nice, especially in business.
我并不是一个易怒的人,若你问我有什么特别之处,那就很有可能是为人太有耐心、太友好以致出错,特别是在谈生意的时候。
I always try to see the best in people and meet them wherever they are in their lives. After all, you never know what else is happening in their world that may influence their behavior.
无论任何地方见到他们,我总是试图找到他们的优点。毕竟,你不知道他们的世界什么了发生,但那些事情可能影响到他们的行为。
However, when I get angry, I get very angry. I’m not one to yell or pound my fist. Instead, my anger is suppressed and ignored until it boils over. When that happens, the reaction is visceral and intense. To quote John Dryden, the 17th century, British poet and dramatist, “Beware the fury of a patient man”.
然而,如果我生气了,我就真的会非常生气。我并不是那个喜欢咆哮或者挥舞拳头的人。反而,我会在愤怒爆发前把它压制和故意无视。当那些让我生气的事情发生时,我的反应是本能而激烈的。正如17世纪的英国诗人和剧作家John Dryden所说:“小心耐心人的勃然大怒”。
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve truly lost my temper. It’s a fact that I pride myself onbecause as an entrepreneur I routinely deal with things that would send the average person into a rage-induced fit.
彻底失去理智的次数,我单手就可以数出来,这是我一直引以为傲的事实。因为作为一名企业家,我通常按照惯例处理那些使普通人感到愤怒的事情。
At this very moment, however, I’m angrier than I’ve been in a long time. The situation I’m dealing with is complicated and nuanced but sufficed to say I’m dealing with a scenario where I’ve been strung along and subjected to a casual lack of respect that is nothing short of astonishing.
然而此时,我比以往任何时候都愤怒。要处理的情形是如此复杂,但无需多言,我处理的方法会让人感觉有幕后操纵也缺少尊重,这一点也不让人惊讶。
Some of my closest friends and advisors have urged me to respond in kind and fight fire with fire. After all, between my writing and television work I have a very strong platform upon which I can call out injustices as I see them.
我最亲近的朋友们和智囊团中有人督促我反应友好一些,不要以牙还牙。毕竟,在写作和电视工作中,我有一个强大的平台可依靠。有他们在,我可叫嚷说不公平。
For a while, in fact, I contemplated taking a firmer stance. I imagined venting my anger at one person in particular and helping him to realize just how vulnerable he truly was.
事实上,有时候转念一想,我会采取更坚定的立场。我幻想将愤怒发向一个人,并帮助他认识到他是多么脆弱。
I contemplated how good it would feel to be an instrument of justice, calling out the misdeeds of this individual to save others from a similar situation. I had the means and motivation to send a torpedo his way that would rock his world like he wouldn’t believe.
我幻想成为一个美好的正义机器,可以控诉此人的不好以避免其他人重蹈覆辙。我并没有发射个鱼雷到他的道路上的动机,那会使他的世界变化到他也难以置信。
But I didn’t.
但我没有幻想。
Instead, I fell back on my mindfulness practice and thought long and hard about the issue. After a few hours, I came to a startling conclusion. Acting out in anger wouldn’t help me. In fact, it probably wouldn’t even end up being the cathartic experience I was hoping for.
而是对此事想了又想。几个小时后,我得出了一个令人震惊的结论。动作上的愤怒并不能帮助我。事实上,它甚至不可能成为我所期望的情感宣泄途径。
Instead, I chose to refocus my anger and turn it to my advantage.
取而代之的是,我重新聚焦愤怒并将它变作我的优势。
Use it to help you conquer your fears
用它克服恐惧
The first question I pondered was, “Why am I so angry?” Of course, I knew the circumstances that had led me to this point. But why did I let them hijack my soul?
我思考的第一个问题是,为什么我如此愤怒?当然,我知道是环境促使我这样。但是为什么我让他们绑架了我。
I think that anger is just fear in disguise. It doesn’t matter what it is – fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of feeling small – fear can lead a person down a very dark path.
我认为愤怒是为了伪装恐惧。恐惧什么没有关系,恐惧未知,恐惧失败,恐惧感觉渺小——恐惧能使人滑向黑暗的深渊。
I know that in this particular case, my anger was rooted in my fear of failure. When the evidence that the group in question had acted in bad faith became too much to ignore, I found myself afraid to admit that I had been led astray.
我知道在此事上,我的愤怒来源于对失败的恐惧。当问题团队是因为依照错误的指示行动这一事实变得越来越明显时,我发现自己不敢承认是我带头误入歧途。
I didn’t want to admit that to my partners, friends, and supporters. My anger was simply a primal reaction to an unfortunate situation. By getting angry, I could somehow shift blame from myself and avoid the shame of admitting failure.
我不想向我的合作伙伴、朋友和支持者承认这一事实。我的愤怒是对不幸事实的最直接的反应。通过发怒,我一定程度上将责任推给了其他人并避免了承认失败的耻辱。
This realization hit me hard, and I harnessed the anger I was feeling to identify and conquer the fears that were driving me. Everyone makes mistakes, and all of us are duped from time to time.
这一意识使我很受打击,我试着控制克服恐惧所带来的愤怒。人人都会犯错,我们也常常会被欺骗。
I simply needed to address the situation head-on and accept responsibility for the outcome.
我只需要简单地宣称勇往直前,并对结果负责就行。
Use it to fuel your creativity and resolve
用它激发创造力和决心
Of course, the act of recognizing the underlying cause of your anger does not absolve the actions of the guilty party. Instead, this recognition merely robs anger of the power it holds over you and your actions.
当然,认识到愤怒的原因并不能抵消愧疚。这一认识,只是将愤怒从自己身上移走。
Anger, when properly focused, can be a very powerful motivator. It can help reinforce your resolve, help you to overcome obstacles, and build grit.
当被恰当地聚集,愤怒也可以是一个强大的驱动力。它能帮助你增强决心,帮助你克服困难并积聚勇气。
My advice to fellow entrepreneurs, and everyone for that matter is to transform your anger into something positive and creative. In my case, I found that my anger over the situation pushed me to find a creative solution to the situation at hand.
我的建议是向企业家学习,与此事有关的每个人都可将愤怒转化为正向激励和创造力。在我的案例中,我发现愤怒会驱使我去寻找一个创新解决手头问题的办法。
Use it to rally others to your cause
用它凝聚人心
Anger is a universal emotion, and as such can draw others to support your cause. In my particular situation, my advisors and investors were just as angry as I was.
愤怒是常见的情绪,它也可以使其他人转而支持你。在特殊的情况下,我的智囊团和投资者们会像我一样愤怒。
Rather than simply stew on the situation, we rallied together and put our considerable resources to work solving our problem. The anger we felt united us and gave us a common goal; undo the damage done by those who wronged us.
不是简单地小火慢炖,我们集合起来并投入大量资源来一次性地解决问题。我们感到愤怒会使我们更团结,并给了我们一个目标,用来抵消那些对我们的错误认识所带来的破坏。
It wasn’t about revenge; it was about moving forward as a team. Given the circumstances, I felt that this act of coalescing around a common goal created a ray of light in an otherwise dark situation.
这不是关于复仇,这是关于激励团队向前的。鉴于目前的环境,我感觉围绕着常规目标行动将会在黑暗中为我们带来一束光亮。
It’s okay to get angry; in fact, it’s a central part of the human experience. However, if left unchecked, anger can be self-destructive. The things that you think might make you feel better can easily backfire and make matters worse.
感到愤怒是没有问题的,事实上,这是人类经历的核心部分。然而,如果未加确认地愤怒,这可能就是自我毁灭。你所想的事情可能会使你感觉更好,也可能是背后起火并使事情更糟。
Instead, it’s important (for entrepreneurs in particular) to find ways to use your anger to your advantage. Whether it’s conquering the fears that give way to rage or channeling it into a creative endeavor, you can find ways to rob anger of its destructive power and transform it into a powerful ally.
而有些人,特别是企业家,发现将愤怒转化为优势的方法是十分重要的。无论是为了克服恐惧而将其转化为愤怒,还是将其作为一个创造性的努力,你都可以寻找到将愤怒的破坏性转变为有力联盟的方法。