90/10原理

春天的气息扑面而来

90/10原理

昨天上课的时候，再次碰到这篇自己比较喜欢的文章。虽然看起来极其鸡汤，我还是乐意喝下它，时刻不忘告诫自己：“情绪稳定，才多大点的事啊！”现翻译如下（大部分采用的是意译，为了汉语的流畅性，也增加了一些词语）。原文也会附在后面。

此前，你有读过这个内容吗？生活中10%的事情是由发生，在你身上的事情组成的，90%是由你对这10%如何反应来决定的。这就是90/10原理。你确实是没有办法掌控发生在自己身上的那10%的事情，但是你可以决定剩余的90%的事情。

90/10原理

让我们用一个例子来说明一下。你正和你的家人在吃早饭，此时，你的女儿打翻了一杯咖啡，溅到了你的衬衣上。你严厉的责骂了女儿，女儿开始哭起来。过后，你指责妻子，是她把咖啡放在桌子边上的。接下来，你与妻子互不相让，唇枪舌战了一会。没办法，你只能冲到楼上去，换了另一件衬衣。

回到楼下，你发现你那一直在哭泣的女儿根本就没有吃好饭，还错过了校车。你只能自己开车把女儿送到学校去。迟到了15分钟，还被罚了60美元，终于你们到达女儿的学校。为了赶时间，女儿没有和你说再见就跑进了教学楼。

等你到办公室的时候，已经晚了20分钟，更致命的是你发现公文包落在家里了。闹心的一天就是这样开启的，问题是闹心程度还在继续，好像还变得越来越糟糕了。你盼望着下班回家。可是，当你到家的时候，你发现你和妻子孩子之间已经有了裂痕。

为什么你的一天会这么不顺？是咖啡惹的祸还是女儿造成的呢？

下面这就是你本来可以做的，或者说是你应该做的：

咖啡溅到你的衣服上，女儿快哭出声音了，你应该温和的对女儿说：“甜心，没有关系，下次小心一点哦。”拿起毛巾上楼换衬衣。换好干净的衬衣，拿好公文包，你及时的下楼了，透过窗户往外看，孩子正在上校车呢。她转过身来，和你们夫妻二人挥手再见。最后，你提前5分钟到了办公室，愉快地和同事们打招呼，你老板甚至表扬了你。真是美好的一天！

注意到差别了吗？两种不同的剧情。同样的事情开端，不同的结局。

阅读带来的是力量和反省

Have you read this before? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. That is the 90/10 Principle. You really have no control over 10% of what happens to us, but you determine the other 90%.

Let’s use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You severely scold your daughter and she breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you blame your wife for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and she misses the bus. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at the school and your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, yet when you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.

Why did you have a bad day? Did the coffee cause it? Did your daughter cause it?

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

90/10原理