㈠英语学习

The Personalities We Stage

If you are to take a step back and reflect on your personality, how will you characterize yourself?

A quiet introvert? An unabashed extrovert? A predominant leader? An accommodating team player? A sensible arbitrator? Or a mix of many roles?

If you present yourself in different fashions in front of different people, then what is your true personality? Or is the idea that there is a true personality in everyone a misleading notion?

我们表演的人物

如果你要退后一步反思你的个性，你将如何塑造自己？

一个安静内向的人？一个坦率的外向者？一个卓越的领导者？一个随和的团队成员？明智的仲裁员？还是多种角色的混合？

如果你在不同的人面前以不同的方式展现自己，那么你真正的个性是什么？或者说每个人都有一个真实的人格是一个误导性的概念？

The social psychologist, Erving Goffman, known for his eccentricity and profound understanding of humans' social behaviors, has a theory: "we are all just actors trying to control and manage our public image."

Mr. Goffman posits that one's personality is an amalgamation of the roles one chooses to play in a number of contexts one has encountered in his or her life.

Like actors and actresses whose ultimate goals are to render their characters compelling and coherent, we also entertain the same objective when we decide on how to impress different groups of people that come in and out of our lives and how we want them to think of us.

以怪癖和对人类社会行为的深刻理解而闻名的社会心理学家欧文·戈夫曼有一个理论：“我们都只是试图控制和管理我们公众形象的演员。”

戈夫曼先生假设一个人的个性是一个人在他或她的生活中所遇到的许多环境中选择扮演的角色的融合。

当我们想让不同的演员和演员在我们的生活中有着相同的目标时，我们想如何取悦他们的最终目标。

One could both be diligent at work in the eyes of his or her colleagues, and laid-back at home, leaving tedious house chores to his or her parents.

Demonstrating reserved modesty in a meeting filled with people higher on the hierarchy and exhibiting outspokenness and acuity of the mind during a post-dinner chat with close friends can often occur within the same person.

To the core, we are how we choose and what we believe.

一个人既可以在同事眼中勤奋工作，也可以在家里悠闲，把繁琐的家务留给父母。

在同一个人中，同一个人经常会在同一个人的会议上表现出矜持的谦虚，在饭后与好友聊天时表现出直言不讳和敏锐的头脑。

从本质上讲，我们是如何选择和相信的。

But on the outside, our personalities are how we represent ourselves to others, a decision predicated on what kinds of interactions we want to achieve with those self-representations.

Although there are variations in different individuals' personalities, for the majority of us, we strive to make sure that we are presenting ourselves within the bounds of agreed-upon socially appropriate behaviors.

Those unwritten rules prescribe that people don't normally yell out curse words in a formal setting, or that they don't usually address their siblings as if they are their acquaintance-level coworkers.

When they do, however, there's probably a hidden message underneath the surface of their infractions of the rules.

Some of those violations might risk their current social standings while others might not.

When a hotel staff member puts aside his courtesy and shouts at a customer in angry expletives, he's likely to get the pink slip.

On the other hand, when a mother calls her five-year-old son a masterful artist in a faked respectful tone after seeing his messy doodles on the wall, this reversal of roles could be a prelude to a subsequent reprimand.

Our personalities are statements about ourselves in various situations as we take on different social identities, and, as the thinking goes, you might not want to sum up someone's personality in a sweeping description like "he's generous" or "she's mean."

但从外表上看，我们的个性就是我们如何向他人展示自己，这是一个基于我们希望通过这些自我表达实现何种互动的决定。

尽管不同个体的个性存在差异，但对我们大多数人来说，我们努力确保自己在商定的适合社会的行为范围内展现自己。

这些不成文的规则规定，人们通常不会在正式场合大喊脏话，或者他们通常不会像对待熟人级别的同事那样称呼兄弟姐妹。

然而，当他们这样做的时候，在他们违反规则的表面之下可能隐藏着一个信息。

其中一些违法行为可能会危及他们目前的社会地位，而另一些则可能不会。

当一个酒店的工作人员抛开礼节，愤怒地对顾客大喊大叫时，他很可能会被解雇。

另一方面，当一位母亲看到自己5岁的儿子在墙上乱涂乱画后，用假装恭敬的语气称他为大师级的艺术家，这种角色的转换可能会成为随后训斥的前奏。

我们的个性是我们在不同的社会身份下，在各种情况下对自己的描述，而且，按照思维方式，你可能不想用“他很慷慨”或“她很刻薄”这样的笼统描述来概括某人的个性

每日阅读笔记

㈠古人早说过,当你骑的是一头笨驴，羡慕别人骑的是八尺的肥马，别人步轻蹄快，很快就超越了你。这时你只要回头看看，还有赤着脚、挑着重担，远远跟在后头的樵夫，就会气愤全消。

　　但是有人偏不这样看，姚合有一首诗道：“晓上上方高处立，路人羡我此时身。白云向我头上过，我更羡他云路人！”

　　原来自己在上方立着，正受到脚下路人的羡慕，哪知一阵白云从高处飘过，想青霄的云路上更有飞黄腾达的人，使自己原先的得意霎时化为乌有，心里全不是滋味。

　　古来的圣哲教人“见贤思齐”，何尝不主张“往上比”，不过往上比的是精神、品德、学问，这方面的浅深高下，自己不该不明白。精神的天空是无穷的，鸡群中的鹤虽然卓然独立，但是飞得高的还有鹄，鹄之上还有大鹏，其上更有遨游千仞的翔凤。精神层面，智者会自觉太少，愚者才自觉太多，觉得太少的智慧日增，觉得太多的愚蠢日甚。

　　至于物质、欲望、境遇的层面，最好“往下比”，骑驴者的内心有余裕，就是智慧。不然八珍九鼎，仍不满足于甘饴适口；满身锦绣，仍不满足于光彩耀眼；欲海溺人，将永远惶惶然感到欠缺与不足。所以这层面，自觉够的智者，能安分知足，是真正的富有；常觉不足的愚者，日夜营营逐逐，是永远的贫穷。

㈡夕阳完全退出了院子。但是门口香樟树的树梢上还有一截黄翠翠的金色。风里，树叶摩挲出响亮的声音，一片片叶子把那光反射得没有次序，一副肆意挥霍的样子。一棵树比一个人活得骄傲得多，它甚至是飞扬跋扈的。生命的对比里，不是走的路多才看得更透，它最终取决于与大地的交融和互相的理解。而人，最终也会以这样的方式自我肯定，只是人间的弯路太多，又不好意思不去走走。

　　喜鹊的叫声带着水响亮的部分。把一个下午的静谧划出许多条印子，如一个孩子用绿色的彩笔在深蓝色的黑板上画出的短暂弧线。它用不着绚丽，足够你内心喜悦和信任就可以了。我们存在的幸福还来自我们自以为是的先入为主，好像人间先有了我们，然后才匹配花草树木。鸟语虫鸣是我们说不清楚的事情，因为说不清楚，所以歧义丛生，而我们在这些歧义里选取让自己心悦的含义，对错无关紧要。

　　这个时候就应该出去走走了。肯定是听到了一棵野草，一棵野梨树隐约的呼喊。它们的呼喊细腻、神秘，所以不会直接穿过人的耳朵。这个时候我总是对我生活的地方充满了感激，生活一定预先知道我喜欢什么，所以就把这些都安排在我身边，它们毫无保留地让我看到，把一些微小的喜悦都挂在枝头让我去采，它们丰盈、饱满而富足，根本不会担心我会漏掉一些，它们会一直在那里微光闪烁。