day27-The road less traveled

     It is not simply in their role as parents that character-disordered individuals are ineffective and destructive;these same character traits usually extend to their marriage,their friendships and their business dealings--to any area of their existence in which they fail to assume responsibility for its quality.This is inevitable since,as has been said,no problem can be solved until an individual assumes the responsibility for solving it.When character-disordered individuals blame someone else--a spouse,a child,a friend,a parent,an employer--or something else--bad influences,the schools,the government,racism,sexism,society,the "system"--for their problems,these problems persist.Nothing has been accomplished.By casting away their responsibility they may feel comfortable with themselves,but they have ceased to solve the problems of living,have ceased to grow spiritually,and have become dead weight for society.They have cast their pain onto society.The saying of the sixties(attributed to Eldridge Cleaver) speaks to all of us for all the time:"If you are not part of the solution,then you are part of the problem."

        性格障碍的个体不是简单的他们作为父母的角色时是无效的和破坏性的；这些相同的性格显著的通常扩展到他们的婚姻，他们的友谊以及他们的生意往来--到他们存在的任何领域，他们不能为其质量承担责任。这是不可避免的因为，正如人们所说，没有问题能被解决除非个体承担责任去解决它。当性格障碍的人们责任其它人时--配偶，孩子，朋友，父母，雇主--或别的东西--坏的影响，学校，政府，种族，性别歧视,社会，“系统”--对于他们的问题，这些问题继续存在。什么都没有完成。通过扔掉他们的责任他们可能会对他们自己感到舒服，但是他们已经停止去解决生活中的问题，已经停止精神成长，以及已经变成社会的重担。他们已经把他们的痛苦扔给社会。六十年代的谚语(归因于Eldridge Cleaver)总是告诫我们所有人：“如果你不是解决方案的一部分，那么你就是问题的一部分。”