W1- How to ask for what you want
Day 1-2
单词作业+背景补充（扫除生词句）
Notes on How to ask for what you want — and get it every time
1/enlist 谋求（某人帮助）,应征入伍，赢得
Voluntarily join the military；hire for work or assistance
Eg: The government is keen to enlist his support for Poland’s entry into the EU.
2/at length 最后，终于；详细地，详尽的，
In detail;in the end
Eg: When I was there last year, I spoke at length about the threat of Islam.
3/Restive 不满的，躁动不安的，感到厌烦的
Impatient especially under restriction or delay
Eg：Then came a steep rise in food and fuel prices and people at large became restive.
4/liven up 使...有生气
Make lively；enliven；invigorate
Eg： Administrators are finding new ways to liven up the experience.
5/cut to the chase 开门见山，提到关键问题，转入/切入正题
Get to the point without wasting time
Get down to brass tacks；come straight to the point
Eg: Cut to the chase and keep it simple by eliminating extraneous words and phrase.
6/butter people up 对...说好话，恭维，巴结，阿谀奉承
describe so.going overboard praising or complimenting another person.
Brown-nose, flattery,
Eg: Democrats say Mr.Putin unleashed a cyberwar on them to help the president-elect, essentially to butter up Mr. Trump.
7/laying it on (too thick) 夸张，过分的说，露骨的恭维
8/Ungratifying 不高兴，不满意，
Unappreciated,thankless
9/Attest 证实，作为...证据，作证
Certify, evidence,testify
Eg: Police records attests to his long history of violence.
10/Fiend 恶魔，对..有嗜好的人，...迷，...狂
Who loves sth. So much that it’s scary
Frug fiend 嗜毒鬼
Sugar-addicted jelly bean fiend
11/rattle on 喋喋不休的说
Talk incessantly and tiresomely
Eg:Don’t let her rattle on, which is a waste of your time and hers.
12/scorching wit and sense 剧烈的，尖刻的，炙热的
Hot or dry enough to burn or parch a surface/hot
Eg: Situated almost directly on the equator, the mountain endures scorching days and freezing nights.
Day3-4
逻辑导图+神词神句翻译：
1. On various occasions she has persuaded me to do things for her, just as she has enlisted thousands of others.
就像她可以说服成千上百的人一样， 她能让我心甘情愿地在各种场合受她驱使。
笃师译：她向无数人寻求帮助,也成功的说服了我在许多事情上给予她支持。
Enlist: to persuade someone to help you to do sth:谋求（某人的帮助）
Enlist sb’s help/service(常见词组，建议内化成积极储备）
They hoped to enlist the help of the public in solving the crime.他们希望寻求公众协助破案。
2. Why would I give up a Saturday on the basis of watching a clip of a similar conference a year earlier?
凭什么看一个一年前类似会议的视频，我就得把自己的周六贡献出去。
笃师译：我为何要放弃周末为他效劳呢？难道就因为看了前一年的会议视频？
(自己翻译的版本好凶的说...)
Would此处表示意愿(会，将会)
I wish you would be quiet for a minute.我希望你会安静一会儿。
3. There is no danger of ever laying it on too thick. There is no level at which flattery stops working, according to a study by Jennifer Chatman of the University of California, Berkeley.
恭维的话再夸张也不为过。加州大学伯克利分校的JC的一项研究表明，
恭维不会到某个程度就失去效果。
笃师译：用力夸奖永远错不了。加州伯克利大学Jennifer Chatman的一项研究显示，任何类型的美言都能起到效果。
Lay on：原来意思是涂抹（颜料等），其实是呼应前段butter it up: butter大家都知道是黄油的意思，用作动词是涂黄油，衍伸为甜言蜜语，讨好奉承。此处用lay on则是呼应黄油涂再厚也不嫌多。如果童鞋们一时之间体会不到，也不用着急，联系上下文总能推断出来，这不，下一句作者就进一步解释了：什么级别的好话都不会不奏效=黄油涂再厚也不为过。
4. In addition to being flattering, the perfect please has to make you feel not only wanted, but also needed. I read the email and said yes at once. I knew how manipulative it was, but I could not help myself.
除了被恭维，完美的邀请让你感觉对方不仅是想要请你，而且需要请你。我看完了邮件立马回复接受邀请。我知道这封邮件不乏操纵说服的套路，但就是控制不住自己。
笃师译：除了恭维以外，请求的最佳方式是让人觉得自己不可或缺，而不仅仅是被邀请而已。我读完邮件后立刻同意了。尽管我很清楚自己被忽悠了，但还是难以拒绝。
want只是想要，但不是必须，不是没有他就不能活了: I want to go to the moon.
need是必需，通常说是必需品，生活中少不了他: I need to eat.
5. And rather than ask if I had enjoyed it, it would have been better to attest how much they had enjoyed having me.
与其说问我是否享受那次活动，不如直接证实我的加入为活动增色不少。
笃师译：比起询问我的感受，更佳的方式是证实我的到来令他们感到愉快。
全文中好多地方出现would,建议大家趁机打开词典，好好研究一下would的各种用法哦。
6. If only you would join our panel on xxx. We have a lot of clever but worthy people talking, and we need your genius to liven it up. Please say yes.
期待您能出席...小组讨论。与会者机智风趣，可以与他们谈笑风生，我们亟需您来点亮这次活动。您就答应了吧。
笃师译：如果您愿意加入xxx讨论小组就太好了。那里有许多充满智慧且值得尊敬的嘉宾，我们需要您的超群魅力来带动大家。请答应我们吧。
整个句子堪称经典。首先，If only you would语气相当礼貌客气。其次，用your genius夸奖对方能力。再次，突出we need即让对方感觉自己不可或缺，提升对方的自我存在感。
最后，Please say yes. 真切恳请。简直无人能拒啊~
If only you would这样的表达方式相当值得一学，基本上属于客气的最高级别：如果您能…就太好了。很多时候会看到if打头的句子，如If you could please follow me. /If you could please open the box for me.用于比较正式的场合，是一种礼貌用语。比Please follow me要客气舒缓的许多。
7. Thank you for bringing the evening to life and for your scorching wit and sense. You are our own Tina Fey.
感谢您为今晚的活动带来活力，感谢您让人惊艳的才思与智慧。你就是我们的大咖。
笃师译：您的才思敏捷让整晚活动熠熠生辉，衷心感谢！您就是我们的Tina Fey.
蒂娜·菲（英文名：Elizabeth Tina Fey），1970年5月18日出生于宾夕法尼亚州上达比，美国剧作家、喜剧演员、演员、制片人。曾经是《周六夜现场》（Saturday Night Live，缩写SNL，又称周末夜现场）的灵魂人物。SNL是美国一档于周六深夜时段直播的喜剧小品类综艺节目。
神词组：
1. go on at length 详细说明，论述；长篇大论
2. cut to the chase 开门见山
3. butter people up 拍马屁，恭维；
to flatter（口语）恭维，奉承She liked to butter up every new boss she had.
4. singularly ungratifying 非常不开心，不满意；完全不能让人满意
5. get sb to do sth/make sb do sth 操纵别人做某事，让...心甘情愿做；
使某人做某事；
6. run into sb 遇到，偶遇某人
7. incline to do sth 倾向于做某事
8. too vague to be convincing 太模糊了没有说服力；太模糊所以不够让人信服
9. be done with doing sth 做完了...事；完成...事
10. rattle on 赘述；唠叨不停
11. fail to do its job 没有达到效果；没能实现预期目的
思维导图
Day 5 运用所学 输出
根据原文精神，写一封邮件，邀请你敬仰的老师或领导来担任某活动的嘉宾。
Dear professor Zhang,
Thanks for reading my mail.
Next week on Sunday(21th of May), the English department will host the annual English debate competition.
We sincerely hope you would come and join us in the judge panel as a special guest. Known as a distinguished debate titan , your coming will liven up the competition.What’s more,if only you would come, you will find yourself surrounded by an array of excellent and eloquent young speakers, who are passionately engaging in a battle of words and wits.No need to mention that all contestants are long for your talented guidance and sharp comments. Please say yes.
Yours
Sincerely
Molly
Day 6 复盘
1 附原文：
How to ask for what you want — and get it every time
Financial Times
Feb 13 2017
I know a woman who can get people to do whatever she wants. She can make busy executives give her their evenings, their thoughts and their money. On various occasions she has persuaded me to do things for her, just as she has enlisted thousands of others.
I ran into her the other day and asked what her secret was. “It is not hard,” she said. “I just say please and thank you.”
Actually it is not quite as simple as that. Most people know how to say please and thank you — or think they do. Almost everyone was taught that before they went to primary school. But hardly anyone has been taught how to do it properly.
Consider the following perfectly polite email I received recently from a man I know slightly. It began: “This year we are partnering with XXX to launch the second annual YYY conference. I know you are busy but we would love you to host a session on women in business on the Saturday.”
It then went on at length about the theme of the year and offered a link to a video of the previous year’s event. “Do let me know if that is feasible,” it ended.
It was not feasible. Why would I give up a Saturday on the basis of watching a clip of a similar conference a year earlier?
Thelength of the emailmade me feel restive and inclined to hit the delete button. To be reminded that I am busy merely provided an excuse to decline.
Now consider this message from my other acquaintance. Its subject line read: “If only you would...” and the email continued “... join our panel on xxx. We have a lot of clever but worthy people talking, and we need your genius to liven it up. Please say yes.”
What this does is cut to the chase — and the chase is flattery. The only truly effective way of saying please is to butter people up.
There is no danger of ever laying it on too thick. There is no level at which flattery stops working, according toa studyby Jennifer Chatman of the University of California, Berkeley.
In addition to being flattering, the perfect please has to make you feel not only wanted, but also needed. I read the email and said yes at once. I knew how manipulative it was, but I could not help myself.
Getting thank you right is just as easy, though just as uncommon. Consider the following failed attempt that landed in my inbox recently: “Thank you for talking at our function last week and for giving up your time. The feedback was excellent and we hope you enjoyed it.”
This was polite and professional. Yet it quite failed to do its job. For a start it was miles too slow — an emailed thank you should arrive within hours, not the following week.
Equally, to be thanked for your time is singularly ungratifying. Time takes no skill to give. To say the feedback was excellent was too vague to be convincing. And rather than ask if I had enjoyed it, it would have been better to attest how much they had enjoyed having me.
In rejecting this message, I felt the spirit of my mother. She was a fiend with the thank-you letter.
Every year on December 27 she sat us children down and made us write letters to everyone who had given us anything for Christmas. We had to specify what the present was, claim to be delighted with it, and (this was hardest) we had to say why.
When we were done with thanking, we had to keep writing until half way down the second page before signing off. Three of my mother’s four principles apply to the thank-you email. You thank specifically for the thing. You say why you liked it — and you must thank promptly. The only difference for me now is that I no longer have to rattle on for a page and a half. Indeed, the shorter the better.
And this is exactly what my persuasive acquaintance did. “Extraoooordinary”, said the subject line of the thank-you email that was waiting in my inbox when I awoke the next day. “Thank you for bringing the evening to life and for scorching wit and sense. You are our own Tina Fey.”
Actually, I had performed indifferently. I knew that — and so did she. We both understood the game she was playing. But no matter. The next time she asks me to do something, I will comply.
***附2 去年的做过一篇“science of persuasion”的复述任务，私认为和这个话题相关性还蛮高，扒拉出来，复盘加深印象。
说服业惯用的六项基本原则：互惠原则，稀缺性，权威性，承诺一致性，喜好，社会认同。
视频网页链接：http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTE0MDc3MzMy.html
Science Of Persuasion
*** 附3 science of persuasion参考文本（不客气，要学习雷锋）
Researchers have been studying the factors that influence us to say yes
to the requests of others for over 60 years,and there can be no doubt that
there's a science to how we are persuaded, and a lot of this science is
surprising.When making a decision, it would be nice to think that people
consider all the available information in order to guide their thinking, but the
reality is very often different.
In the increasingly overloaded lives we lead,more than ever, we need
shortcuts or rules of thumb to guide our decision making.My own research has
identified just six of these shortcuts as universals that guide human behavior.
They are:reciprocity, scarcity,authority, consistency, liking, and consensus.
Understanding these shortcuts and employing them in an ethical manner can
significantly increase the chances that someone will be persuaded by your
request.Let's take a closer look at each in turn.
So, the first universal principal of influence is reciprocity.
Simply put, people are obliged to give back to others the form of behavior, gift,
or service that they have received first.If a friend invites you to their party,
there's an obligation for you to invite them to a future party you are hosting.
If a colleague does you a favor, then you owe that colleague a favor.
And in the context of a social obligation, people are more likely to say
yes to those that they owe.One of the best demonstrations of the
principle of reciprocation comes from a series of studies conducted in
restaurants. So, the last time you visited a restaurant, there's a good chance
that a waiter or waitress will have given you a gift,probably about the same
time that they bring your bill -- a liqueur perhaps, or a fortune cookie, or
perhaps a simple mint.So, here's the question: Does the giving of a mint have
any influence over how much tip you're going to leave them? Most people will
say no,but that mint can make a surprising difference.
In the study, giving diners a single mint at the end of their meal typically
increased tips by around 3%. Interestingly, if the gift is doubled and two mints
are provided, tips don't double -- they quadruple,a 14% increase in tips.
But perhaps most interestingly of all is the fact that if the waiter provides one
mint, starts to walk away from the table,but pauses, turns back, and says, "For
you nice people, here's an extra mint," tips go through the roof -- a 23%
increase,influenced not by what was given, but how it was given.So, the key to
using the principle of reciprocation is to be the first to give, and to ensure that
what you give is personalized and unexpected.
The second universal principle of persuasion isscarcity.
Simply put, people want more of those things they can have less of.When
British Airways announced in 2003 that they would no longer be operating the
twice-daily London-New York Concord flight because it had become
uneconomical to run,sales the very next day took off.Notice that nothing had
changed about the Concord itself.It certainly didn't fly any faster,the service
didn't suddenly get better,and the airfare didn't drop;it had simply become a
scarce resource,and as a result, people wanted it more.So, when it comes to
effectively persuading others using the scarcity principle, the science is clear.
It's not enough simply to tell people about the benefits they'll gain if they
choose your products and services;you'll also need to point out what is unique
about your proposition and what they stand to lose if they fail
to consider your proposal.
Our third principle of influence is the principle of authority--
the idea that people follow the lead of credible, knowledgeable experts.
Physiotherapists, for example, are able to persuade more of their patients to
comply with recommended exercise programs if they display their medical
diplomas on the walls of their consulting rooms. People are more likely to give
change for a parking meter to a complete stranger if that requester wears a
uniform rather than casual clothes. What the science is telling us is that
it's important to signal to others what makes you a credible,knowledgeable
authority before you make your influence attempt.Of course, this can present
problems; you can hardly go around telling potential customers how brilliant
you are, but you can certainly arrange for someone to do it for you.And
surprisingly, the science tells us that it doesn't seem to matter if the
person who introduces you is not only connected to you, but also likely to
prosper from the introduction themselves.One group of real estate agents
were able to increase both the number of property appraisals and the number
of subsequent contracts that they wrote by arranging for reception staff that
answered customer inquiries to first mention their colleagues' credentials and
expertise. So customers interested in letting a property were told, "Lettings?
Let me connect you with Sandra, who has over 15 years experience letting
properties in this area." Customers who wanted more information
about selling properties were told, "Speak to Peter, our head of sales. He has
over 20 years experience selling properties. I'll put you through now."The
impact of this expert introduction led to a 20% rise in the number of
appointments and a 15% increase in the number of signed contracts -- not bad
for a small change informed from persuasion science that was both ethical
and cost-less to implement.
The next principle is consistency. People like to be consistent with the things
they have previously said or done. Consistency is activated by looking for
and asking for small initial commitments that can be made. In one famous set
of studies, researchers found, rather unsurprisingly, that very few people
would be willing to erect an unsightly wooden board on their front lawn to
support a drive safely campaign in their neighborhood; however, in a similar
neighborhood close by, four times as many homeowners indicated that they
would be willing to erect this unsightly billboard. Why? Because ten days
previously they had agreed to place a small postcard in the front window of
their home that signaled their support for a drive safely campaign. That small
card was the initial commitment that led to a 400% increase in a much bigger
but still consistent change. So, when seeking to influence using the
consistency principle, the detective of influence looks for voluntary, active,
and public commitments and ideally gets those commitments in writing.
For example, one recent study reduced missed appointments at health
centers by 18% simply by asking the patients, rather than the staff, to write
down appointment details on the future appointment card.
The fifth principal is the principal of liking. People prefer to say yes to those
that they like. But what causes one person to like another? Persuasion
science tells us that there are three important factors. We like people who are
similar to us. We like people who pay us compliments. And we like people who
cooperate with us towards mutual goals. As more and more of the interactions
that we are having take place online, it might be worth asking whether these
factors can be employed effectively in, let's say,online negotiations. In a series
of negotiations studies carried out between MBA students at two well-known
business schools,some groups were told, "Time is money, get straight down to
business." In this group, around 55% were able to come to an agreement. A
second group, however, were told, "Before you begin negotiating, exchange
some personal information with each other, identify a similarity you share in
common, then begin negotiating." In this group, 90% of them were able to
come to successful and agreeable outcomes that were typically worth 18%
more to both parties. So, to harness this powerful principle of liking, be sure to
look for areas of similarity that you share with others,
and genuine compliments you could give before you get down to business.
The final principle isconsensus. Especially when they are uncertain, people
will look to the actions and behaviors of others to determine their own. You
may have noticed that hotels often place a small card in bathrooms that
attempt to persuade guests to reuse their towels and linen. Most do this by
drawing a guest's attention to the benefits that reuse can have on
environmental protection. It turns out that this is a pretty effective strategy,
leading to around 35% compliance. But could there be an even more effective
way? Well, it turns out that about 75% of people who check into a hotel for four
nights or longer will reuse their towels at some point during their stay. So, what
would happen if we took a lesson from the principle of consensus and simply
included that information on the cards, and said that "75% of our guests reuse
their towels at some time during their stay, so please do so as well." It turns out
that when we do this, towel reuse rises by 26%. Now, imagine the next time
you stay in a hotel, you saw one of these signs, you picked it up, and you read
the following message, "75% of people who have stayed in this room have
reused their towel." What would you think? Well, here's what you might think:
"I hope they're not the same towels." And like most people, you probably think
that this sign will have no influence on your behavior whatsoever, but it turns
out that changing just a few words on a sign to honestly point out what
comparable previous guests have done was the single most effective
message, leading to a 33% increase in reuse.
So the science is telling us that rather than relying on our own ability to
persuade others, we can point to what many others are already doing,
especially many similar others. So, there we have it: six scientifically validated
principles of persuasion that provide for small, practical, often costless
changes that can lead to big differences in your ability to influence and
persuade others, in an entirely ethical way. They are the secrets from the
science of persuasion.
