TED55:4 larger-than-life lessons

很多时候我们会不屑电视剧的夸张不写实，但是更多时候我们常被新闻头条的狗血劲爆新闻吓得不敢相信自己的眼睛。艺术源于生活，又治愈了生活给我们带来的挫伤。
今天的TED演讲，让编剧家Kate来分享她和肥皂剧一样跌宕起伏的故事。

Soap operas and telenovelas may be (ahem) overdramatic, but as Kate Adams shows us, their exaggerated stories and characters often cast light on the problems of real life. In this sparkling, funny talk, Adams, a former assistant casting director for "As the World Turns," share four lessons for life and business that we can learn from melodramas.

This talk was presented at a TED Institute event given in partnership with UPS. TED editors featured it among our selections on the home page. Read more about the TED Institute.

00:12

In 1987, Tina Lord found herself in quite the pickle. See, this gold digger made sure she married sweet Cord Roberts just before he inherited millions. But when Cord found out Tina loved his money as much as she loved him, he dumped her. Cord's mother Maria was thrilled until they hooked up again. So Maria hired Max Holden to romance Tina and then made sure Cord didn't find out Tina was pregnant with his baby. So Tina, still married but thinking Cord didn't love her flew to Argentina with Max. Cord finally figured out what was going on and rushed after them, but he was too late. Tina had already been kidnapped, strapped to a raft and sent over a waterfall. She and her baby were presumed dead. Cord was sad for a bit, but then he bounced right back with a supersmart archaeologist named Kate, and they had a gorgeous wedding until Tina, seemingly back from the dead, ran into the church holding a baby. "Stop!" she screamed. "Am I too late?Cord, I've come so far. This is your son."

01:19

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the soap opera "One Life to Live" introduced a love story that lasted 25 years.

01:26

(Laughter)

01:27

Now, if you've ever seen a soap opera, you know the stories and the characters can be exaggerated, larger than life, and if you're a fan, you find that exaggeration fun, and if you're not, maybe you find them melodramatic or unsophisticated. Maybe you think watching soap operas is a waste of time, that their bigness means their lessons are small or nonexistent. But I believe the opposite to be true. Soap operas reflect life, just bigger. So there are real life lessons we can learn from soap operas, and those lessons are as big and adventurous as any soap opera storyline.

02:07

Now, I've been a fan since I ran home from the bus stop in second grade desperate to catch the end of Luke and Laura's wedding, the biggest moment in "General Hospital" history.

02:16

(Applause)

02:18

So you can imagine how much I loved my eight years as the assistant casting director on "As the World Turns." My job was watching soap operas, reading soap opera scripts and auditioning actors to be on soap operas. So I know my stuff.

02:33

(Laughter)

02:34

And yes, soap operas are larger than life, drama on a grand scale, but our lives can be filled with as much intensity, and the stakes can feel just as dramatic. We cycle through tragedy and joy just like these characters.We cross thresholds, fight demons and find salvation unexpectedly, and we do it again and again and again,but just like soaps, we can flip the script, which means we can learn from these characters that move like bumblebees, looping and swerving through life. And we can use those lessons to craft our own life stories.Soap operas teach us to push away doubt and believe in our capacity for bravery, vulnerability, adaptability and resilience. And most importantly, they show us it's never too late to change your story.

03:30

So with that, let's start with soap opera lesson one: surrender is not an option.

03:35

(Laughter)

03:37

"All My Children"'s Erica Kane was daytime's version of Scarlett O'Hara, a hyperbolically self-important princess who deep down was scrappy and daring. Now, in her 41 years on TV, perhaps Erica's most famous scene is her alone in the woods suddenly face to face with a grizzly bear. She screamed at the bear, "You may not do this! Do you understand me? You may not come near me! I am Erica Kane and you are a filthy beast!"

04:08

(Laughter)

04:10

And of course the bear left, so what that teaches us is obstacles are to be expected and we can choose to surrender or we can stand and fight.

04:21

Pandora's Tim Westergren knows this better than most. You might even call him the Erica Kane of Silicon Valley. Tim and his cofounders launched the company with two million dollars in funding. They were out of cash the next year. Now, lots of companies fold at that point, but Tim chose to fight. He maxed out 11 credit cards and racked up six figures in personal debt and it still wasn't enough. So every two weeks for two years on payday he stood in front of his employees and he asked them to sacrifice their salaries, and it worked.More than 50 people deferred two million dollars, and now, more than a decade later, Pandora is worth billions. When you believe that there is a way around or through whatever is in front of you, that surrender is not an option, you can overcome enormous obstacles.

05:13

Which brings us to soap opera lesson two: sacrifice your ego and drop the superiority complex.

05:20

Now, this is scary. It's an acknowledgment of need or fallibility. Maybe it's even an admission that we're not as special as we might like to think. Stephanie Forrester of "The Bold and the Beautiful" thought she was pretty darn special. She thought she was so special, she didn't need to mix with the riffraff from the valley, and she made sure valley girl Brooke knew it. But after nearly 25 years of epic fighting, Stephanie got sick and let Brooke in. They made amends, archenemies became soul mates and Stephanie died in Brooke's arms, and here's our takeaway. Drop your ego. Life is not about you. It's about us, and our ability to experience joy and love and to improve our reality comes only when we make ourselves vulnerable and we accept responsibility for our actions and our inactions, kind of like Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks.

06:18

Now, after a great run as CEO, Howard stepped down in 2000, and Starbucks quickly overextended itself and stock prices fell. Howard rejoined the team in 2008, and one of the first things he did was apologize to all 180,000 employees. He apologized. And then he asked for help, honesty, and ideas in return. And now, Starbucks has more than doubled its net revenue since Howard came back. So sacrifice your desire to be right or safe all the time. It's not helping anyone, least of all you. Sacrifice your ego.

06:59

Soap opera lesson three: evolution is real. You're not meant to be static characters. On television, static equals boring and boring equals fired. Characters are supposed to grow and change. Now, on TV, those dynamic changes can make for some rough transitions, particularly when a character is played by one person yesterday and played by someone new today. Recasting happens all the time on soaps. Over the last 20 years, four different actors have played the same key role of Carly Benson on "General Hospital." Each new face triggered a change in the character's life and personality. Now, there was always an essential nugget of Carly in there, but the character and the story adapted to whomever was playing her.

07:51

And here's what that means for us. While we may not swap faces in our own lives, we can evolve too. We can choose to draw a circle around our feet and stay in that spot, or we can open ourselves to opportunities like Carly, who went from nursing student to hotel owner, or like Julia Child.

08:13

Julia was a World War II spy, and when the war ended, she got married, moved to France, and decided to give culinary school a shot. Julia, her books and her TV shows revolutionized the way America cooks.

08:29

We all have the power to initiate change in our lives, to evolve and adapt. We make the choice, but sometimes life chooses for us, and we don't get a heads up. Surprise slams us in the face. You're flat on the ground, the air is gone, and you need resuscitation.

08:47

So thank goodness for soap opera lesson four: resurrection is possible.

08:53

(Laughter)

08:54

(Applause)

08:58

In 1983, "Days of Our Lives"' Stefano DiMera died of a stroke, but not really, because in 1984 he died when his car plunged into the harbor, and yet he was back in 1985 with a brain tumor.

09:11

(Laughter)

09:12

But before the tumor could kill him, Marlena shot him, and he tumbled off a catwalk to his death. And so it went for 30 years.

09:22

(Laughter)

09:25

Even when we saw the body, we knew better. He's called the Phoenix for a reason. And here's what that means for us. As long as the show is still on the air, or you're still breathing, nothing is permanent.Resurrection is possible.

09:45

Now, of course, just like life, soap operas do ultimately meet the big finale. CBS canceled my show, "As The World Turns," in December 2009, and we shot our final episode in June 2010. It was six months of dying and I rode that train right into the mountain. And even though we were in the middle of a huge recession and millions of people were struggling to find work, I somehow thought everything would be OK. So I packed up the kids and the Brooklyn apartment, and we moved in with my in-laws in Alabama.

10:21

(Laughter)

10:24

Three months later, nothing was OK. That was when I watched the final episode air, and I realized the show was not the only fatality. I was one too. I was unemployed and living on the second floor of my in-laws' home,and that's enough to make anyone feel dead inside.

10:45

(Laughter)

10:47

But I knew my story wasn't over, that it couldn't be over. I just had to tap into everything I had ever learned about soap operas. I had to be brave like Erica and refuse to surrender, so every day, I made a decision to fight. I had to be vulnerable like Stephanie and sacrifice my ego. I had to ask for help a lot of times across many states. I had to be adaptable like Carly and evolve my skills, my mindset, and my circumstances, and then I had to be resilient, like Stefano, and resurrect myself and my career like a phoenix from the ashes.

11:30

Eventually I got an interview. After 15 years in news and entertainment, nine months of unemployment and this one interview, I had an offer for an entry level job. I was 37 years old and I was back from the dead.

11:50

We will all experience what looks like an ending, and we can choose to make it a beginning. Kind of like Tina, who miraculously survived that waterfall, and because I hate to leave a cliffhanger hanging, Tina and Cord did get divorced, but they got remarried three times before the show went off the air in 2012.

12:10

So remember, as long as there is breath in your body, it's never too late to change your story.

12:19

Thank you.

12:20

(Applause)

00:12

1987年，蒂娜罗德发现自己深陷困境。 所以，这个拜金女决定在 善良的科德 罗伯特 继承百万遗产之前嫁给他。 但当科德发现她爱他的钱财， 和爱他一样多时， 他甩了她。 科德的妈妈玛利亚很开心 直到他们又搞在一起。 所以玛利亚雇了 马克思 赫登引诱蒂娜， 并确保科德不知道蒂娜怀了他的孩子。 所以蒂娜还是嫁了， 但觉得科德不爱她了， 所以就和马克思飞到阿根廷。 科德后来知道发生了什么事， 前去追赶他们，但为时已晚。 当时蒂娜已经被绑架， 她被绑在一条筏上，冲下了瀑布。 她和孩子被推断已经死亡。 科德有点伤心， 但是他恢复的很快， 和一个叫卡特的 聪明考古学家在一起了， 他们举行了一场美丽的婚礼， 直到被认为死亡的蒂娜 抱着一个婴儿冲进教堂， “停！”她尖叫， “我来晚了吗？ 科德，我克服万难回来了。 这是你的儿子。”

01:19

而这，女士们先生们， 这就是肥皂剧《只此一生》， 一个持续了25年的爱情故事。

01:26

（笑声）

01:27

如果你看过肥皂剧， 你就会知道那些故事和角色 可能很夸张，超出实际， 如果你是一个粉丝， 你会发现这种夸张很有意思， 如果你不是粉丝， 你会发现它们很情绪化和肤浅。 可能你觉得看肥皂剧 是浪费时间， 夸张的剧情意味着没什么教育目的 或甚至根本不存在。 但是我相信，反过来说才是对的。 肥皂剧反映了人生，只是夸张些。 因為我们能从肥皂剧中 学到真实的人生道理， 而这些道理与肥皂剧剧情 一样夸张且新奇。

02:07

我是个大粉丝，从二年级开始， 我每天从车站跑回家 就为了看卢克和罗拉婚礼的故事结局， 那是《综合医院》这场戏剧的重大时刻。

02:16

（鼓掌）

02:18

所以你可以想象我多么热爱 担任《地球照转》八年的助理导演。 我的工作是看肥皂剧， 阅读肥皂剧本 并面试肥皂剧演员。 所以我知道自己在干嘛。

02:33

（笑声）

02:34

是的，肥皂剧 比现实生活要夸张， 更大程度的戏剧化， 但是我们的生活也可以一样紧张、 利害关系也可以一样戏剧化。 人生当中不断的悲欢离合 就像那些角色一样。 我们跨越困境，与恶魔斗争 和在无意中找到了救赎，而且我们一次又一次的做这样的事情， 但是就像肥皂剧，我们可以改变局面， 也就是说，我们可以从這些像大黄蜂一样， 被生活忙的团团转的角色身上 学到东西。 我们可以用这些教训， 刻画出我们自己的人生故事。 肥皂剧教我们不要怀疑 并相信自己 勇敢、脆弱、 适应及恢复的能力。 最重要的，它们告诉我们 要改变自己的故事永远不会太晚。

03:30

所以，我们从肥皂剧的第一课开始： 投降不是选择。

03:36

（笑声）

03:37

《我的孩子们》的艾瑞卡 卡恩 是电视版的斯佳丽 奥哈拉， 一个夸张、以自我为中心的公主 她的内心深处是好斗和大胆。 艾瑞卡在她41年的电视生涯中， 可能是最出名的场景就是： 她独自在森林里 突然和一个灰熊面对面。 她朝灰熊大喊： “你不能这样！ 你听不懂吗？ 你不能靠近我！ 我是艾瑞卡 卡恩 而你是一个卑劣的野兽！”

04:08

（笑声）

04:10

当然，灰熊离开了， 所以这教会我们 人生总会有障碍 但我们可以选择投降，或者站出来斗争。

04:21

潘多拉的蒂姆 韦斯特格伦 最了解这个道理。 你甚至可以叫他硅谷的艾瑞卡 卡恩。 蒂姆和其他联合创始人 集资了两百万，成立公司。 但他们在第二年就用光了资金。 很多公司都在那个时候放弃， 但是蒂姆选择斗争。 他刷爆11张信用卡， 背负了六位数的债务， 但这还不够。 两年来每两周发工资的那天， 他都会站在他的员工前 请求他们放弃他们的工资， 这有了成效。 超过50个人贡献了两百万美金， 现在，十多年后。 潘多拉的估值高达几十亿。 当你相信有办法 可以解决你眼前所面对的任何问题时， 投降不是一个选择， 你可以克服巨大的障碍。

05:13

來到肥皂剧的第二课： 放下你的自大和高人一等的情绪。

05:20

这有点可怕。 这是对人性需求和错误的认知。 可能这甚至是对我们自己 并没有想象中那样特殊的覺悟。 《大胆而美丽》的 斯坦芬尼 福瑞斯特 认为她自己非常特殊。 她觉得她特殊到 不需要和来自村庄的普通人往来， 她还警告村庄的女孩布鲁克要知道这点。 但是在快25年的史诗般的斗争后， 斯坦芬尼生病了， 让布鲁克进入了她的内心。 她们重修旧好， 從敌人变成了灵魂伴侣， 最后斯坦芬尼死在布鲁克的怀里， 这就是我们学到的： 放下你的自大。 人生谈的不是你， 人生谈的我们， 谈的是我们享受快乐、爱情 和改善现状的能力， 只有在我们最脆弱的时候， 承担起我们所作所为的责任 以及不作为的责任。 有点像霍华德 舒尔茨， 星巴克的CEO，

06:18

在結束了偉大的 CEO 任职后， 霍华德在2000年辞职， 但星巴克因迅速地过度扩张， 造成股价下跌。 霍华德在2008年重新加入团队， 他做的第一件事， 就是向18万员工道歉。 他向员工道歉， 并寻求帮助、真诚和建议。现在，自从霍华德归队后， 星巴克的净利润超过两倍。 所以放下自己对正确和安全的渴望， 並不会帮助到任何人，也帮不了自己。 放下你的自大。

06:59

肥皂剧课程三： 进化是現实的。 并不是要你去当一位 一层不变的次要角色。 在电视圈，一层不变意味着无聊， 无聊意味着随时会被解雇。 角色应该有成长和变化。 在电视上，那些充滿變數的改变， 可以创造出一些剧烈的转变， 特别是当一个角色昨天是一个演员， 今天却是另一个演员。 在肥皂剧里，角色重塑是很常见的。 过去的20年里， 四个不同的演员都扮演过 《综合医院》的重要角色，卡莉 本森。 每一个崭新的脸庞都引发了 角色的生活和人格的变化。 虽然卡莉的本质还在， 但是角色和故事都要适应扮演她的人。

07:51

对我们来说，这意味着 虽然我们不能在生活中变换面容， 但我们可以进化。 我们可以选择画地自限， 或者我们可以向机会敞开心扉， 像卡莉，从一个护士专业学生 变成酒店业主， 像朱莉娅 查尔得，

08:13

朱莉娅是一个二战间谍， 当战争结束候，她结了婚、搬到法国， 并决定去烹饪学校学习。 朱莉娅，她的书和电视节目 颠覆了美国烹饪的方式。

08:29

我们在生活中，都有启动改变的能力， 为了进化和适应环境， 我们做出选择， 但有时候我们不得不向生活低头， 意外扇了你一个耳光， 你躺在地板上，不知所措， 你需要恢復知觉。

08:47

所以，感谢肥皂剧的第四课： 重生是有可能的。

08:53

（笑声）

08:54

（鼓掌）

08:58

1983年，《我们的日子》的 斯特凡诺 德米拉死于中风， 但那不是真的，因为在1984年 他因车子掉进海港而死亡， 但是他在1985年带着脑瘤复活了。

09:11

（笑声）

09:12

在肿瘤杀死他之前， 马里拉朝他开枪， 他摔进狭窄巷道死亡。 而这花了30年。

09:22

（笑声）

09:25

当我们看到他的尸体， 我们很清楚， 他被称作凤凰是有原因的。 这对我们的意义是， 只要剧还在播出， 或者你还在呼吸。 没什么是不变的。 重生是有可能的。

09:45

当然，就像生活一样， 肥皂剧总会有大结局。 CBS在2009年12月取消了 我的肥皂剧——《地球照转》， 我们在2010年6月， 录制了最后一集。 在那痛苦的六个月当中， 我的人生看不到光明。 即使我们的经济仍在衰退，百万人挣扎着寻找工作， 但我觉得一切都会变好。 我带着孩子，离开布鲁克林的公寓， 和亲家一起 居住在阿拉巴马州。

10:21

（笑声）

10:24

三个月后，没有好转的迹象。 在我看了最后一集的播出後， 我意识到不仅那个电视剧结束了， 我也失业了。 我没有了工作， 住在亲家的二楼。 真的有够难受的。

10:45

（笑声）

10:47

但是我知道我的故事还没有结束， 也不会结束。 我只要运用我从肥皂剧 里学到的所有东西。 我要像艾瑞卡一样勇敢并拒绝投降。 所以每天，我都会做一个斗争的决定。 我要像斯坦芬尼一样脆弱， 放下自大。 我要在很多州寻求很多帮助。 我需要像卡莉一样善于适应 并进化我的技能、思考和境遇， 然后我还要像斯特凡诺一样顽强，使我自己和我的职业重生 就像凤凰涅槃一样。

11:30

最后，我得到了一个面试。 在新闻和娱乐界工作了15年， 失业了9个月 在这次面试之后， 我得到了一个入门级别的工作机会， 我当时已经37岁， 我复活重生。

11:50

我们都会经历人生低潮， 我们可以选择让低潮成为一个起点。 像蒂娜，奇迹般地从瀑布中存活下来， 因为我不喜欢剧情有悬念， 蒂娜和科德真的离婚了， 但是他们在2012年 剧终之前结了三次婚。

12:10

所以记住， 只要你还有一口气在， 改变你的故事永远不会太晚。

12:19

谢谢

12:20

（鼓掌）